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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sweet_Falcon3570 on 2024-01-23 03:02:54+00:00.
My roommate is a stranger that my apartment complex matched me with. She told me through text before I moved in to not bring too much kitchenware because I could use hers, that she might be standoffish because her former roommate was her friend and she's struggling with her moving out, and essentially implied that we wouldn't be friends.
We got dinner when I moved in, she told me to ask her if I would like to make any livingroom decor changes. A month later, I told her that I wasn't a fan of seasonal decor and asked if she could move some leaves and pumpkins off of the tv stand--at the time, there were about a dozen faux pumpkins, fall signs, and leaves throughout the commonspace. She immediately sent me a really long text saying no and we argued. She has a lot of unused furniture in the livingspace such as two empty bookshelves, a coat rack, and a set of night stands next to the couch. We both pay for the furnished furniture in the commonspace.
After this argument, she hid the tv remote, I made space for myself in half of 1/3 of the kitchen cabinets as well as the cleaning pantry, and I told her to move the decor that was falling over my door. She started leaving sticky notes telling me to not touch her things, accusing me of stealing a glass, and to lock the door when I leave--I wrote fuck you while I was drunk in response to the last note and I got served a lease breach from my apartment complex for "belligerent behavior."
Another sore spot was when she told me to pay her for utilities, didn't realize that the apartment complex had switch utility companies, and I requested a refund from her twice only for her to immediately respond with angry emails calling me impatient and entitled.
Our last email exchange, she told me that I was making her life hell and I remember thinking 'damn, you're making MY life hell' and I apologized twice, told her to keep the utility money, and offered to clear the air. She rejected that offer and said she's been met with "nothing but anger/hostility" and that she "acknowledges and appreciates my apologies."
It's been 2 months and there's still so much tension.
Am I the asshole here?