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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/KIND-OF-SAD-03 on 2024-01-22 22:19:27+00:00.
I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (25M) for about a year. He's a big movie and TV guy while I never really got into it. I immigrated to the US when I was 8 and my parents were always working so I was a Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, PBS after school kid. My immigrant parents never had any interest in American media and they themselves didn't grow up with it either. Because of this, every piece of content I have ever consumed from the age of 8 until now has been things that I found myself. As you can imagine, being an 8 year old girl, it started with Disney channel (Hannah Montana, Wizards, etc) to Teen Wolf type shows in my teens to whatever sounds interesting from Tiktok now. I never had someone sit me down and tell me that the Star Wars movies were good, I've never watched a movie that my parents grew up with. Because of this, I haven't seen A LOT of "must see" movies, but that doesn't bother me at all
When we started dating, my boyfriend made a lot comments like "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN..." and so we would watch some of his recommendations when we hung out. Maybe 1 or 2 movies a week.
As award season now approaches, he's really excited to watch all the nominated movies and shows. Just about every night after dinner, he wants to put on a "good" movie. I'm fine with it a couple times a week but I'm honestly never as excited about it as he is. In fact, it sometimes feels like homework. But I sit through it because I know it makes him happy.But sometimes all I want to do is watch the Lizzy McGuire movie for some fun nostalgia or some feel good rewatch of Ted Lasso. He sees no value in these because they're either "for kids" or things we've already seen.
He gets pretty sad when I don't want to watch his things because "his love language is quality time". I've told him multiple times in the past that I'm not in the mood for a movie in general or for that specific movie but he gets really sad. The other day, he recommended that we watch Swiss Army Man which is a movie about a dead body that can do all kinds of things including farting so much that it can power a boat. I truly was not in the mood. I would never watch this no matter how good it is and I find the idea pretty gross. I told my boyfriend as much to which he replied that he just wants some quality time with me. I responded by saying "this can't be quality time if half the people aren't enjoying themselves and I for sure will not be enjoying myself". He just gave a defeated nod and I sat on the couch on my laptop with my headphones in while he watched the movie on the TV. (And every time I glanced up, the dead body was in fact doing some weird thing that I did not care for).
He seemed pretty sad for the rest of the night but fine the day after. Now its been about 3 days and he's asked me to join him for a movie just once instead of every night. AITA for possibly hurting his feelings by saying that this isn't really quality time because I'm not enjoying myself?