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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwaway_GH7509 on 2024-01-23 00:55:32+00:00.
Basically, the title, but here’s the context, I (M38) have a very messy family life, my dad cheated on my mom when I was about 15, this woman (who I’ll call Sara) also had a son, Mike (M38) who is a few months younger than me, she also cheated on her husband.
When the affairs were exposed, and divorces were finalized, my dad and Sara got married, but our parents’ plan for a new blended and happy family quickly disappeared since Mike and I had no intention of being each other’s brother.
We both lived primarily with our other biological parents and were rarely in the house together but very soon we talked it out and decided that we weren’t enemies and just wanted nothing to do with each other, so we have as neutral relationships as possible we don’t care for good or bad about the other.
We both agreed that my dad and Sara suck, so when we were cold or impolite to our respective stepparent, we didn’t feel like we had to protect them or anything.
A few years later, Paul(M22), our half-brother, was born. Due to age difference (and us basically hating that blended family), we were never close to Paul and had little to no impact on his life.
Anyway, Paul is getting married to Laura (21) who is a very devout christian and has been pushing him to make an effort to “unite” our family.
Laura has been using the wedding to try and get us to play happy family, at first it started with small annoyances like family chats and trying to get us involved in wedding planning.
Originally Mike and me were just regular guest in the wedding but Paul asked us (as requested by Laura) to both be his best men, it felt awkward, but Paul never asked for anything, so we accepted.
Last weekend we were supposed to go to a seminar (since Mike and I haven’t been to a church in years) to receive training on what to do at the ceremony, however it ended up being a set-up by Paul and Laura.
When we arrived there was a Pastor, Laura, Paul, Mike and our parents. We were supposed to spend the weekend “healing” our family. Sara and Dad knew this beforehand and were on board, Mike, and I not so much, so we just left and opted to pull back from being part of the wedding, this upset Paul, he said that if we weren’t going as his best men, we wouldn’t be invited at all.
This was acceptable to Mike and me since neither of us went to each other’s wedding. But now drama is everywhere. Extended family is contacting us to make us budge and all the circus that comes in this type of situation. My wife said that I am behaving like an asshole and should just suck it up, so I’m starting to doubt. Am I the asshole?