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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mysticfox__1 on 2024-01-23 07:23:35+00:00.
My fiance and I (both 19, non-binary) got engaged on Thanksgiving 2023 after only being together for a few months. We made the decision to wait to tell our families until Christmas 2023 as a dun Christmas surprise.
When we went to see my mom, I was prepared for her to say something about it because she thinks we are rushing into things too quickly and she is a bit of a helicopter mom. When we told her, her reaction was exactly that. She did say she was happy for us but told us we should hold off on the wedding for a couple years (i.e. 2026 or later) to make sure we want to get married. We both just brushed it off and our plan is still to get married in October of 2024.
We told the rest of my close family/friends and so far everyone else has been really happy for us besides my grandmother (mom's mom). My grandma reacted the same way as my mom but has told us multiple times that she is happy for us and has welcomed my fiance with open arms so I'm not too worried.
Currently the problem is that every time I even mention the wedding (and sometimes when I don't) my mom has to bring up that we should wait to get married. She doesn't even listen to me when I tell her that my fiance is the love of my life/soulmate and neither my fiance or I can think of a way that we wouldn't be together.
It got to the point where I was physically sick with emotion because one of the things I dreamed about was going to wedding boutiques and doing wedding stuff with my mom. Like that's what mom's usually do when their child is getting married. I also have distanced myself from really doing anything to plan for the wedding which my fiance understands but we are on a bit of a time crunch so we are a bit behind on things.
I am to the point where I am currently ignoring calls/texts from my mom because I don't want to hear her thoughts about the wedding. I have also decided to tell her that if she doesn’t want to support my fiance and I getting married and will just keep commenting on it that she will be uninvited from the wedding and I don't really want her to be apart of my life anymore.
AITA for deciding to tell my mom this?
Edit: I forgot to add that I don't have a very strong relationship with my mom because she doesn't understand that I'm non-binary and that I don't like guys.