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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/chooizr439 on 2024-01-23 00:51:54+00:00.
I (33F) have a two kids (11F and 8M) with my husband. Our daughter is usually a good kid, which is why we were appalled when we got a phone call from her teacher about her bullying another student.
Her teacher told me that her and a few other girls she is friends with were bullying a boy in the same grade, but in a different class at recess. A few of the boys in her class are friends with the boy, they were playing basketball at recess when he asked to speak to his friends.
He told them my daughter and her friends were bullying this boy because he is transgender. The other boys immediately went to the teacher to tell her, even though he asked them not to because he was scared of the social consequences.
When my husband and I found out about this, we were furious. It’s also personal for my husband, he’s a teacher and a baseball coach and he has a student who’s an 8th grader and is a trans boy, the boys on his team are friends with this boy and while he doesn’t play with them, he helps out with a lot of the behind the scenes stuff (like equipment, acting as a scorekeeper at games). He knows how much both his players and the trans student admire him.
We told our daughter she was grounded until further notice, she lost all electronics, she can’t see her friends outside of school, ect. It’s school and home, that’s it.
We got the phone call about a week ago. Last night, we were at my sister’s (37F) house for dinner. My daughter was there but she could only read books, no playing video games with her cousins or brother.
My sister asked what happened and I told her, and she said I was being too harsh on my daughter and that I should lift the punishment on her.
My sister’s oldest is her daughter who is 14. Her 14 y/o is a massive trouble maker, back in 7th grade, she got suspended from school multiple times for participating in the “devious licks” trend, stealing a hand sanitizer from the school bathroom and when she got back, she tried to steal a mirror. My niece also has got in trouble for bullying and recently attempted to shoplift but her brother/my nephew (10M) noticed what she did, told her, and she put it back before she got in trouble.
My sister and her husband never punish their daughter, they figure “the school already punished her enough” when she gets punished at school.
I told my sister I punished my daughter so she didn’t turn out like her daughter. I yelled at her for disrespecting my parenting. We got into an argument and it left in my family leaving early.
Later on last night, my sister called me to work things out, she demanded I apologize, but I refused to do so because I think she’s the one in the wrong, but she keeps telling me she won’t speak to me until I apologize.
AITA?