this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Haunting-Assistant83 on 2024-01-22 20:11:14+00:00.


My husband (M32) and I (F31) are fighting because he was telling me about something while I was washing dishes and I responded “okay.” After a few seconds he said “are you going to say something?” And I said “I did I said okay” and he said “no you didn’t” and went on to insist he was looking at me and my mouth didn’t move so I must have said it in my head. I’ll admit I had a big reaction to this but this isn’t the first time this has happened. Several times in our relationship he has insisted I didn’t speak and my mouth didn’t move when I know I did. Sure there are times when I doubt whether I was thinking something or said something when deep in thought but not for a simple word like yes or okay. I know when I’m speaking and this drives me crazy when my husband won’t acknowledge that he didn’t see my mouth move for a single short word. It seems like no big deal for him to just say “oh I didn’t hear you”. He insists it’s equally small to say I might have said it in my head but I don’t feel like it’s the same thing because I know when I’m speaking. He just called me and said “I’m sorry we fought” but I said I’m not accepting that because he’s not apologizing for what he did that actually upset me and we ended up continuing the same circular fight. I just need some other perspectives on this because I feel like he’s so obviously in the wrong here but maybe I’m the AH here and just can’t see it?

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