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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Budget-Assignment265 on 2024-01-23 03:43:38+00:00.
I (f18) have 3 sisters, 23, and 19 year old identical twins. My mom (54) is the breadwinner of our family, she’s the cheerleading coach at a large university. All of my sisters cheered in college, but the twins for my mom currently and my eldest sister just graduated. Although my moms denies it, I believe slight nepotism is involved as there’s not a statistical way I have 3 sisters cheer there without nepotism being involved.
I cheered competitively pretty much my entire life until 2 years ago. I quit because I was done dealing with the politics on the team and the bullying I received from one teammate. My mom was supportive of me quitting competitive cheer as long as I did my final 2 school season which I did.
I had always been very skinny and I kept that way for cheer, but after quitting competition cheer and with my school stunts being pretty much nothing, I realized I didn’t need to stay skinny any longer. For the first time in my life, I ate how I pleased and didn’t feel the need to exercise an excess amount, and I gained around 40 lbs. None of my friends or family have commented negatively on my gain until recently which I was very thankful for.
As college approaches for me, I’ve decided that I’d like to cheer again. I asked my mom if I could cheer for the team just like my sisters, and she said no. She claims that because I didn’t do it competitively she couldn’t justify it and that I’ve gotten too out of shape, and she simply couldn’t keep her job if she allowed me on the team.
My eldest sister wasn’t good at cheer at all, and the twins aren’t amazing. I feel like my mom is ashamed of having a daughter with fuller hips. I called my mom out on her fat phobia, and she claims that I am fat and if I can’t handle the truth I need to lose weight. This caught me off guard because in two years of me having a more full figure she never said anything remotely like this.
I don’t want to be the only one of 4 sisters who don’t cheer in college, and I don’t want to just be a fat girl in the stands compared to my sisters cheering. My mom has apologized for her comments and has tried to say it’s more because I’ve not cheered competitively in years, but I know after her outburst that day it’s because of my figure and her embarrassment of my curves.
I understand it’s nepotism, but there aren’t a set number of spots and it’s just who my mom wants. My dad is on my mom's side and said I understood that when I quit cheer this would happen, and my sisters won’t really publicly pick a side, but they have begun to make sly remarks on my weight out of nowhere. My friends do believe I’m in the right but know they’re biased and would support me regardless. I have begun portion control and lost 4 lbs, but it won’t be enough to get to where I was. I now rarely speak to my mom and while I feel like I have some blame I don’t think I’m the a-hole in this situation. AITA?