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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Left_Lunch2044 on 2024-01-23 04:17:01+00:00.
I have three kids: Annie 25F, Ben 23M and Cal 17M. When Annie was going to college, she got an offer from her dream college.
Unfortunately they didn’t offer enough financial aid that meant it was viable for her to attend, so she settled for her backup, still an Ivy League, but she was upset for sometime about not being able to attend her dream college. At the time, me and my husband couldn’t support her at the dream school as we had crazy overhead costs. We did contribute what we can, but asked Annie to work part time.
Even after the financial aid, Annie worked a job to go towards her rent and this has meant her studies suffered. She had to defer some of her classes to sit them in the summer. She has now since graduated and landed a good job.
Ben wasn’t fussed about where he got into and he did well at high school, and got a full ride scholarship, so we didn’t pay for his tuition. Occasionally I sent him money to spend on himself.
Cal is my youngest and as its been a few years since Annie went to college, me and my husband are in a better financial position to support where he wants to go. Cal got many offers and picked his first choice. He was eligible for some financial aid, but the majority will be out of pocket. As we didn’t contribute for Ben’s tuition, we are able to send Cal to a more prestigious school.
When Cal announced this news at a family dinner, Annie got upset that Cal gets to go to his dream school and accused us of favourites. I tried explaining the situation was different, we can afford it now, as we didn’t pay for Ben so can use it on Cal. We set aside equal 1/3rds for the kids, but as our kids have grown, our savings for the youngest two have increased. AITA?
eta- We did sponsor some on Annie’s masters program cost. So in my head