Describing Bilbo "Motherfucking" Baggins, who set out on a very long journey with the express intention of burglaring a dragon, succeeded in that mission, had a casual chat with the, may I reiterate, DRAGON, along the way, walked away alive, and then played a direct role in murdering said dragon, as a "dragon attack survivor" is an interesting choice.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Ya, nice revisionist history there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He was in the dragon's home at the time of the attack. And he was invisible! Why does nobody believe me?! I'm not crazy!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm not crazy!

Oopsy poopsy, you've activated my trap card.

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! "But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy!" Stealing them blind! And HE gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Bad bot.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I'm sick of the hobbit courage erasure!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Burgling is the gerund of “to burgle”. Tolkien would be ashamed of burglaring.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Gandalf is a troll. He exhibited tolling behaviour throughout the books.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

He turned to stone when exposed to sunlight?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

He was stoned at night too.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

Trolling not troll like.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

That's why Bilbo was like "fuck this guy then" and tried to run off

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bilbo was the only one that didn't freak out thoigh, so... maybe he was in on it?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

IIRC, he didn't even see it. He was facing away from it when Frodo tackles him.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

He's just a kindly granpa.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Maybe he was planning on retelling the story of their run-in with the dragon and was going to use the firework as his big finish to the story

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