Sad to say it may have been the uploading of contacts (clever WhatsApp) that just made it easy for users to find each other and no when new contacts joined up. The free calls etc was available on other service slike XMPP (many modern messengers grew out of using XMPP underneath).
Sad part is just that it was not only about capturing all our contacts but actually exposing privacy in this way. But from the FB and WhatsApp perspective it was gold as they knew psychologically that "connecting" would lure people in.
Yes XMPP has one service that I posted about in the XMPP community here, where anyone can register with their phone number (separate from your day to day account) and then you will be alerted if your contacts join AND sign up at that same service. Well it is a bit of a privacy issue and also relies on them all signing up there. So probably not very effective.