Fedizens

(Coopy pasta this onto reddit)

I went to a bar last week and saw this total fediette. I immediately fedied a little in my pants and decided to put my fedi where my mouth is. I went up and sat my fediussy on the stool next to her, and asked her if I knew her. Nah, you're too pretty. I'd remember your face. Misskey to remember, funkwhake to forget. She was instantly feding out her panties at the mere thought of feding out with me. Then some anti-fedier jerkop came up and said "Are you fucking quoting the fediverse (2022) to pick up girls?" I fedipanicked. I said "I...ill follow you on diaspora?" and he started #fediblocking me. I fedied the hell out and fedied all over that guy and am now in federated prison for "fediMurder". Don't those fedidetectives know it was a fediverse reference? All in all, follow me on pixelfed?