this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 3 months ago (4 children)

HP: you are not going to get fired. You will quit.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

glances over at HP laptop I requested a replacement for 6 months ago because it overheats if I have a video call on and a spreadsheet open

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

My HP is genuinely a creepy laptop. In the BIOS is a an "HP remote setting" as well as 3 other remote modes all at the bios level asking to join my wifi, again, at the BIOS level.

I work from my home laptop. I have a small offline private network between my work laptop and home laptop that I send ansible jobs to (since the work laptop is a powerful machine), but that work laptop does not touch the internet.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Well, let's see...my work laptop experience (so far).

  • Lenovo: Worked there for 14 years
  • HP: Worked there for 6 months
  • Apple: Worked there for 6 months
  • HP: Worked there for 2.5 years
  • Apple: Worked there for a year
  • Dell: Worked there for 2.5 years--
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Alternatively, your laptop will spontaneously combust firing you from life.

I seriously don't understand how that fucking company is still in business.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Panasonic Toughbook: you accidentally applied to a job on an oil rig.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

Haha I was going to say you're about to get shot in a foreign country.

[–] corsicanguppy 6 points 3 months ago

Network Operations Field Tech. They climb the ladders and debug the cameras. Absolutely toughbook.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Siemens Field PG: you make a lot of money

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago

Looks depressingly at the shiny new ThinkPad my work got me to replace my old ThinkPad... I'd get so much fucking severance if these fucks ever laid me off - is it really never going to happen?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

ThinkPads for 24 years, same.company. last one had a terrible battery, After a few months, I couldn't take it anymore and complained about the battery life.

... now I have a Dell. Maybe that was my first strike used up.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

I've been using thinkpads as a work laptop since they were branded IBM Thinkpad. So, I have nothing further to comment.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I requested a thinkpad and installed arch linux on it. How safe is my job?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

If you try to give notice they'll kidnap you and you'll spend the next three decades of your life singlehandedly keeping the server running from a secure location somewhere in the Poconos.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Guess I can stop worrying about job security for the forseeable future

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Looking back... that was right, hmm, 7 out of 8 times. The miss was a very chill place that gave out Dells, but I lost my job because the funding round didn't come in.

[–] corsicanguppy -5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Lenovo: you're okay with sharing secrets with China.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If I have to choose which government I'm going to share my secrets with it's going to be the one that doesn't have agency over me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Its also one you don't have any agency over.

(I'm living under the dreamful pretence that the american people can hold their intelligence agencies at least somewhat in check)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

yeah, I'm pretty sure that as a westerner you have zero agency over either government in practice

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Unless you’re a member of the big club, I’ve got bad news for you[1][2].