Somebody should have told Elon to model his life after an engorged clitoris. He's spent so much time as an unwashed flaccid foreskin that he has no idea which bad decisions led to this.
this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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I'm shocked they didn't just leap to arson and are considering other things. Teslas are known to randomly catch on fire.
Either possibility is equally funny!
Maybe someone in the factory just created a few weak points when installing batteries?
Okay which one of you happened to pass by that lot?
arson shmarson
Seems likely to be arson but guess we'll have to wait & see.
I'm on the fence... literally!
The vehicles that burned were against the fence. That is a piece of evidence in favor of arson, a random fire has high probability of igniting a harder-to-reach vehicle. Also, the ATF was on the scene. A responsible adult (like the Seattle FIU investigator who was dispatched last night to the scene) called in the feds, and they only do that when they suspect a bomb... or when they want to VERY STRONGLY rule out a bomb.
On the other hand, there's been no preliminary announcement. Elon couldn't keep it to himself when the Las Vegas Cybertruck detonated, he announced it was a bomb the same day. To avoid speculation that it was just a spontaneous battery fire, like Teslas are well documented to have. Given the absolute shitshow that is going on with Tesla's stock price, if there was ANY plausible way to claim that it was arson, the investigators would be under maximum pressure to do so and do so quickly.
My gut? We would have video of the arsonists if it were arson, and Elon would be trying to link them to anything political-looking in public. No video means either no arsonists, or very sneaky arsonists, which usually they aren't. Occam's Razor makes me wonder about the build quality of those recently built Cybertrucks, particularly their battery packs. Apparently Cybertrucks are idling in their thousands on Tesla lots nationwide. It was just a numbers game until another one ignited itself like that one in Georgia did.
Time will tell.
My gut? We would have video of the arsonists if it were arson, and Elon would be trying to link them to anything political-looking in public.
They wouldn't have video if they're trying to collect insurance on unsold cyber trucks. It's probably coming from inside the house this time.
I hadn't considered that possibility! Would you look at that, Ukrainians hacked in and wiped all the security footage.
Time will tell.
Yeah. And with luck, it'll be only after lots more fires burn up these ugly cars that symbolize billionaires living without consequences.
Really, we all win, on this one.