this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2025
354 points (98.9% liked)

The Onion

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The Onion

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"The truth is, if Americans just had proper access to lightweight cosmetic products capable of hiding blemishes, eliminating uneven skin tone, and highlighting natural complexion, measles could be eradicated.”

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Ate the onion. Full bite and all. Satire is dead.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Same. I was about to ask who doesn’t have access to concealer. Damn it’s been years since when got me this good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Me too. But in our defense, it wouldn't be the stupidest thing he's ever said, had he actually said it.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Thought this was real for a second

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Just wait a few more seconds. Chances are you’ll be right soon.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

It isn't far from Trump's official position that diseases (like covid) are only a problem if we test for them.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago

Second guessing whether real or satire. Interesting times.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Didn't see the community and came very close to sharing this as if it were real.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

I hate that I had to check the source... You shouldn't have to check the source on a headline like that :(

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Swear, I had to do a double take on the source. xD

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

I'm sick of my onion-or-not dilemmas being resolved by looking at the community name. Can we get a c/maybetheonion?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Concealer is made with seed oil.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Wait, no horse dewormer this time?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I see theonion... I still don't BELIEVE its theonion... fuck this timeline

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

It's impossible to enjoy The Onion now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

it does fix one of the symptoms yes

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

And you can buy it from his wife.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

I wish someone would “cure “the United States of RFK Junior