this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space (theonion.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"If There Emergency In Space"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

"She Already Chosen"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's correct under typical headline style, and following that guide is part of why The Onion nails so many headlines.

For comparison: "Russell Brand Invited To Florida College To Teach Sexual Assault Workshop" reads sensibly, but is technically a sentence fragment. It should normally be "was invited." (And it could use some indefinite articles.) Like seeing "War Declared," we accept this... annunciative case, which is a little bit Kevin Malone.

But they really should avoid those awkward corner cases. "Nation Can't Believe It On Harvard's Side" should obviously be "It's," as a matter of readability. That's the goal, here. It's simplifying things to be as small as sensibly possible - and no further.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ex-husband arrest for rape.

Lambasted for a joyride.

On the other hand, she still has some great assets to fall forward on.

[–] corsicanguppy 9 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Funny last line there.

Quickly, can we review why the Internet hates her? Her music isn't totally my thing but if it comes on the web radio I don't switch. She's pretty and seems to be successful. Is it just Swifty hate?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Nah, Taylor Swift keeps putting out hits that her fans love. Katy Perry fell off YEARS ago and has been desperately clinging to relevancy. She filled a very specific niche of music in her hayday that no longer really exists

Her public personality comes off as very.......shallow. She can sing and has, uh, some desirable assets but she's very much a product of record industry more than just a participant. So in a way she represents a lot of what is wrong with the industry and people don't like that

Anyway, I feel kind of bad dunking on her like that. I don't hate her or anything, just wanted to explain why she's disliked.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

But like... Has she actually done anything shitty? Seems like the level of people hating her is disproportionate.

Sorry, I realise you don't necessarily know, but I'm confused by it tbh

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

No, she never did anything particularly shitty. As far as rich people go, she's really not all that bad.. She is just an incredibly bland celebrity that is seemingly everywhere still.

I feel the same way about Jimmy Fallon. So tired of seeing both of them

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I think she picked the wrong time to go to space; if they'd done a similar mission before Elon went full Fascist it would have been much more popular [imho]

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I just want to see her do this in space. Is that too much to ask?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Side note, most of the Katy Perry gifs at my disposal are fucking crazy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

How about we stop giving the bitch attention?