this post was submitted on 12 May 2025
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aww

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Got any games on your phone?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

GOT ANY GRAPES??

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

a duck walks into a bar.

he walks up to the bartender and says, 'hey! you got any duck food?'

the bartender says, 'no, we don't have any duck food. and we don't serve ducks. now, please get lost.'

the duck leaves, but he comes back the next day. he goes up to the bartender and says, 'hey! you got any duck food?'

the bartender, now a bit annoyed, says, 'no! i already told you we don't have any duck food! now get out of here. next time you come in, i'll nail your feet to the bar!'

the duck leaves, but he comes back the next day.

he goes up to the bartender.

'hey! you got any nails?'

'no. why?'

'you got any duck food?'

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

The duck asks if he has nails to follow through on the threat of getting nailed to the bar

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Got any grapes?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Reminds me of a visit to a British castle. Parking was inside the grounds, and there were two picnic areas. One close to the parking lot, one rather far away. Our (local) friends decided on a picnic spot at the far end, and I went all the way to the car to get the stuff.

On my way to the car I saw a single family setting up their lunch on the picnic place next to the parking lot and grumbled why we could not have used this spot instead.

On my way back, I learned why. The family with the little kids were sitting on the blanket, besieged by the duck Mafia from the nearby pond who demanded their share.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

A very polite dinner guest.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Looks like a female wood duck. They're usually pretty shy.

Edit: Actually might be a mandarin duck judging by the male in the background. Don't have those locally so I'm not real familiar.