this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 weeks ago (26 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I don't follow in the dogma of the ears and nose, since you can't fuck them...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

since you can't fuck them.

As opposed to the bullet holes then?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fewer when part of a human centipede.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

I would argue that being part of a centipede doesn't reduce the number of holes, it just creates a more scenic route to the outside.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

a vagina alone has 6, so this is hardly accurate.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago (4 children)

No, in topology those are pretty much just indents (I.E irrelevant)

For a hole to be considered a hole, it has to go through an object.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Booooo. We all know what a hole is, don't bring topology into this. I'll give you a plate for your drinks at my house if you pull this silliness.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wait, do you consider cups to be portable holes for liquids?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (8 children)

If you don't see the difference between a cup and a plate because they're the same topologically then I'm gonna use them interchangeably around you.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

see, this is why everyone hates topology and their silly yet weirdly true rules.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Ponders a klein vagina....

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Wait... do holes that meet up with other holes count as separate holes? The nostrils meet up with the mouth hole but then combined they go through to the anus. Do those count as three distinct holes, since looking at each of them individually they would count as a hole? Or would there be one hole with... four openings?

ETA: I have more questions. Do all the openings need to be open to still be considered a hole? Is it only a hole if all my sphincters are open and my mouth is open? If I'm getting choked but my mouth is open and I'm trying to breathe, does my mouth to nostrils count as a hole themselves? Do my nostrils automatically count as a hole as long as one or both isn't stuffed up?

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 weeks ago

Are you interested in a career in HR? Because I have a large staff which needs to be managed

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

All y'all are some vanilla prudes, missing out on the lacrimal ducts.

11 hole action or GTFO.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

Build of you to assume I have human anatomy.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

So... Mouth, nose... Does nose count as one or two? And the ears... Wait, thats already too many. How does she have only three?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Definitely don't count pores!

Or, apparently, put her near a lamp.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry, typo fixed before I saw your comment. :P

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Aww, too bad. I actually generally try not to tease about typos, I've made plenty myself, but occasionally I can't resist. Decent chance there's one in this comment and, just for fun, I'm not even going to proofread!

Thanks for being a good sport about it. For any future readers, the unedited post said "moth" instead of "mouth."

Hope that, whatever part of your day it is, it's a good one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Same to you! :D

The world needs occasional fun with typos.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Don't forget bellybutton.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

How many positions are available?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Im pretty sure the human body has more than three holes

[–] nova_ad_vitum 18 points 1 week ago

Yeah but this is why we don't ask freaky-ass topologists to define humans.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (19 children)

We've got 7! Four in the eyes, two in the nose, and one digestive! The rest are just topological cavities. Oh and extras for every piercing you have.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

It said so in the Help Wanted ad you placed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

"Wow, three whole openings!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

That is an unusually low number, but I'm certain we can work something out.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I never really found out what the third was for.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

Sex. They're all for sex.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

You need to be careful with that one. She might get pregnant

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Eating and breathing

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