Am I the Asshole?

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AITA for getting mad at what a girl’s mother said? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I (37F) have a daughter, Emma (14F). Emma currently likes a guy, Andrew (15M). Andrew likes her too.

Emma quickly became good friends with a girl named Olivia (Liv) (14F) and we tried to arrange a hangout with her and her Mom.

Emma asked me if she could bring Andrew, so I said that we would have to check with Liv’s Mom. She said no because guys can’t hang out with Liv and shouldn’t with Emma either. That in itself was fine, but she also said that Andrew would r*pe Emma and Liv. Because he would somehow do so in a public place. Saying this without even knowing the guy.

Liv’s mom got upset with Emma for suggesting such a thing. Emma was upset, and so was I. I understand not wanting guys over, but it’s unlikely Andrew would sexually assault/harass people in a public place. We are better safe than sorry, but I know Andrew and he does not seem to have any weird intentions with Emma.

We will definitely not invite him over, though, for their safety(?) and comfort.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

NTA as long as you didn't attack the mom. She's speaking this way of a stranger and her daughter 's friend's friend.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

You're never the asshole about your feelings. From what you posted it seems you didn't say anything to her. You probably made the right call, as I doubt you'd get anything but defensive posturing in response.

I'll say it though; Liv's Mom is a judgemental bitch.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

NAH, though I deem her wrong in her attitude and am at least glad, that she didn't say that into your daughters boyfriend face. You don't know her background. What, for example, if she once was [nearly] raped by somebody she deemed a friend? Or …

Though it is good to trust your daughter and her friend. And stand up for them and thus don't let the other moms fear spread. My advise would be to not judge her, alone on the words spoken, yet don't let her fear and prejudice spread in the direction of your daughter or her friend as well.

And: never be too trusty though (yet the situation you described sounds public enough to indeed be safe).