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This is glorious! I love this theme!
I could listen to this man Faulkner-ize all sorts of modern day situations.
Please! Describe to me the harrowing times of visiting the DMV in the style of Faulkner.
edit: okay I couldn't wait. ChatGPT did a pretty good job:
The building stood low and long beneath a sky that hung gray and immobile like the stretched skin of something once alive, now merely sheltering time’s slow exhalation, and I—having risen from my bed with the same weight that clung to my father before me, and his father before him, the weight of duty, of the necessary evils wrapped in bureaucracy and fluorescent lighting—approached it not as a place of function but as a sepulcher, a mausoleum for the hours of the living.
Inside, there were no clocks, or if there were, they ticked not with minutes but with the soft hollow thud of waiting. The line curled like a serpent shedding its skin in segments of sighing flesh: a woman with a stroller and two crying children; a man holding a paper he had folded and unfolded until its edges frayed like the edge of sanity; a teenager whose face bore the hopeful gleam of license yet to be earned, still believing that freedom could be laminated and slotted into a wallet.
They called numbers, not names, and yet each number felt like an accusation, like the judgment of some higher order whose rules we had never written but must now obey. And when my number came—B123, intoned by a voice so detached it could only belong to a machine or a soul long surrendered to fluorescent purgatory—I stood not because I was ready, but because readiness is a myth we invent to survive the slow grinding of institutions.
Behind the glass, the clerk peered with eyes like twin voids, seeing not the man before her but the paperwork, the errors, the missing proof of address. “You’ll have to come back,” she said, and her words dropped not like stones but like molasses, slow, heavy, inevitable. I nodded, the way a man nods at his own funeral, and stepped outside again into the sun that no longer felt warm, only bright, only indifferent.