this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
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transcription: holy shit please stop talking about how you want an ancient elf of vampire girlfriend, you cant even pull women your own age, what on earth makes you think you could impress someone whos lived for centuries?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

;(

no need to be - dis mean...

yis i kno ive got lil chances at all - yis i see it n im nt buildin up any hop - congrats - bt lik -

... dis is... - i didn expect u to go dis far.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago

🍩 very salty detected

[–] [email protected] 17 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I'm hoping she's a narcissist with a fragile ego who can't stand her own kind and has repeated failed relationships with humans as a predatory thing

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago

you think too highly of yourself

[–] [email protected] 25 points 22 hours ago

What are you talkin' about? I'm a women and I pull on myself regularly?

[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Maybe, they’ll think I’m a cute pet :3

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 day ago (5 children)

you would like that wouldn't you~

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You know what, fuck it, I would love to be their pet. I'm not even talking in a sexual manner. Think about how we humans treat pets. I don't like working and suffering through life. Why would I not want an ancient creature to take care of all my needs while I sloth around and do nothing. God, ancient creatures, take me as your beloved pet!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (2 children)

Why can't we just have what that one Greek philosopher (or whoever it was) predicted, and just sloth around and have orgies all day.

I mean idk about an orgy, but I'd love to have robots do all the work while humans can just kinda chill, pursue whatever we want at whatever pace we want.

Edit: Being free to do what we want wasn't actually part of it from what I see after a quick google search, it was Plato who argued we should just have rigged lotteries to select only the best candidates selected "fairly" for creating offspring in state sanctioned orgies, and sacrifice all the other offspring. But still... robots doing everything would be pretty dope.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Here's something horrifying, we already have, your just not in the right class of people. We are the leftovers. The ones living Plato's dream already exists. Just look at Elon with his hundred children and tell me that's not his existence already. The issue is for him to exist, the rest of us must suffer. That's the problem, we are the sacrifice. So fuck it, I want the vampire mommy to make me a pet. Sex, no sex, still better than living through Plato's nightmare.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 17 hours ago

Plato with those old timey eugenics, why am I not surprised

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago

👉👈🥺

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

I would yes.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

pukes on the nice rug again

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

Of course not, absurd accusations

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago

It's not the getting of women that's the problem. It's that due to circumstances and bad habits/poor boundary policing, I almost always end up supporting them. A relationship with an ancient, ageless creature seems like it has the chance to be them supporting me and I'd like to experience that. I think it would be a nice break. Plus I'm not that expensive either.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

laura hollis manifested a vampire girlfriend and look what happened

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

We hadn't figured out how to (eep heat and pressure hot enough for fusion

Much less in a dumpster.

I can absolutely impress her.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Hahaaa, I mostly dated women older than me, means I still have a shot!