Ask Lemmy

A couple of times I've reoriented meetings and discussion by stating something akin to "We're getting away from the core of the issue here, let's take a few steps back to ensure we're evaluating this with the same objective facts in mind"

I've found that this is pretty effective at aligning the conversation with the actual issue at hand. And by listing the relevant objective facts, I make sure that everyone in the room has the same foundation as I. If anyone wants to play office politics and/or have an agenda beyond what's in front of us, it's harder for them to maneuver around the objectivity I try to stick to. It also ensures that any misunderstandings about the underlying facts can be cleared up or otherwise addressed

I try to turn things around and ask their perspective and then point out things where I have a different take. Try to make analogies with things they do in their job. The key is to try and ground what you're saying in things they already understand.

But also keep in mind there are conversations where the other person is disinclined to understand. In the case of salary negotiations, it's often not in their own interest to understand why your ask is reasonable.

I draw the concept, or write down the formula or even a sentence, on a shared board/screen etc. So I can clearly show my understanding and check where the other person understanding is different.

It means that we have to work together to come to a common understanding.

I've noticed in codes I just have to step into the middle of the room put some bass out from my chest and point at people and give simple instructions (and these are psych codes so it's usually "ALICE -> THAT ARM. BOB -> THE OTHER ARM. CAROL -> LEGS. DAVE -> GO GET THE RESTRAINTS."

But then sometimes something very unexpected comes up like a very large patient dropping their weight into a weird position. So the important thing there is to hopefully come up with an idea quickly and give the simplest way possible to explain to everyone to move as a team. But sometimes someone else comes up with a good idea before me and then you go "CAROL'S RIGHT. ON THREE WE'RE GONNA ___."

So. 0. Know what the fuck you're doing enough that you're respected as an authority figure.

1. Confidence in posture and voice.
2. Point and use simple instructions.
3. Confidence doesn't mean ego. Recognize a good idea when you hear it and use it.

Probably not what you were asking but I hope it helps.