GJdan

Isn't that just what you call OP's mom?

As someone with a very hairy butt, I use one of those cheaper ones with more pressure, a good 30-60 seconds with some wiggling and there's rarely any mess left. I keep some cloths dedicated to drying, after a quick dab with TP just in case, makes drying fast and convenient.

I do have one of the units that connect to hot and cold though and notice best results when I use warmer water.

I'm in a new house now and planning to get a new bidet. Thanks to your comment I will now ignore the fancy electric ones!

It's simultaneously 6 and -6 until you open the box

Oh, well, carry on then.

I don't know what's being apologized for and now I'm sad I missed it :P

http://www.angryalien.com/aa/jurassicbuns.asp

Click bait comment with nothing to click on 🙃

I know that picture is a QR code, I can even scan it, but I just can't stop thinking it's one of those magic eye pictures.

Bravo

Wow, I just bake them, I'm sure it's not as good though.

Meat! I was forgetting about meat...

Ooh that makes sense, and I want schnitzel now.