Currently, the easiest way to find communities on remote servers to subscribe to is the community browser. I'm not sure how this problem could be solved technically in future, but yeah, discoverability is hard atm.
Barbarian
I'm a massive fan of Paradox Interactive, and play almost all their stuff. Crusader Kings 3, Victoria 3, Hearts of Iron 4 and Stellaris (in that order).
Yeah man, I'm in the same boat on feeling excited for the possibilities here. I'm tired as shit after a hard weekend, and I'm still trying to answer as many basic questions that are within my knowledge as possible :))
On the confusion part, yeah, there will be some adjustment for everyone (thankfully I had a 3-day head start). Just like people know that [email protected] and [email protected] are 2 different servers, people are gonna need to learn to look at which server a community is on
Simple: subscribe to both. Ever seen how many /r/trueX subreddits there are (where X is any popular subreddit)? That's basically what's going on here.
Users are likely going to see this as it's the "official" Lemmy instance when trying to join for the first time.
Any admins of instances that are accepting people, give your best elevator pitch!
No, because being on a different server does not impede you in the slightest from subbing, posting and commenting in the more popular one. Think of it as the difference between /r/gaming and /r/truegaming. Same subject, different communities.
Unfortunately, flairs aren't implemented yet. It's in the GitHub issues, but considering Lemmy just grew 12-fold overnight, they're obviously focusing on optimization :))
To answer the question, communities are server specific. There are 2 separate gaming communities on lemmy.ml and beehaw.org that I know of, and probably more by now.
About needing better documentation, I could not agree more! It's very understandable considering that just 3 days ago this was a place with 1k users at peak and 2 devs plugging away at improving the framework. This is an open source project, so be the change you want to see (not directed specifically at you, that's for everyone). We can make this whatever we want, but people need to put in work. Been trying to answer as many questions as I can reasonably answer for a few hours now :)
Sorry, I don't know. Hopefully you'll get an answer from somebody more knowledgeable than me
Nope. You can subscribe/post/comment on any community on any instance. There is one small seam though: if you're the first person to subscribe from your instance, you need to put in the full URL of the community (https://lemmy.ml/c/gaming, for example) to pull it into your instance.
After that, everybody on the same instance as you will see it when searching for communities just like it was local.
EDIT: Oh, forgot to mention: make sure the search is set to "All", not "Communities" when you do this.