goldteeth

This better be the fucking street fight from Anchorman with a hand grenade and a circular saw and a dude with a claymore.

Shiiiiiit. I was looking out my window around quarter to nine and saw a weird bright orange spot off towards DC. Didn't think anything of it in the moment; I'm right under a flight path, not too far from a military airfield, all sorts of weird lights flying over all the time. But looking at that footage that's exactly what it looked like. Christ.

Yeah, it's called taking out the competition. If you wanna win a race you gotta know where to throw the banana peels.

He hallucinated through a sunroof! And he gets to be a Large Language Model? What a sick joke!

Guess they better start feeling comfortable with not owning their company.

Less obligatory but still timely

Counteroffer: We'll take Nunavut in exchange for Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida.

One, you'll have us nearly surrounded; two, they're far enough away that you don't have to risk any of the pre-existing populace actually coming into your country, and three, you get a whole stretch of oceanfront property, and we don't have to let them muck up our electoral college anymore. And all we want in exchange is a nigh-uninhabitable stretch of ice and bragging rights that we're indisputably bigger than China, which is for some reason the only thing the incoming administration cares about anyway. If that's not enough we're willing to throw in a couple of the Virgin Islands.

I take issue with this.

The real Grinch was perfectly capable of changing his opinion when confronted with new information and there's no reason to drag his name through the mud like that.

He has the kavorka!

I understand there is a species of blind fish living in a cave nearly a mile beneath the Yucatán peninsula that scientists believe might not be racist, but research is still ongoing.

Lisan al Haribo!