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I watched a TikTok, just a few minutes ago, about a role-reversal in the American dynamic of women insulting women based on their political affiliations and physical appearances.

Specifically, it was about how American conservative women now find themselves taken aback by the onslaught of insults coming from liberal American women, who have themselves been the target of insults from the other camp for quite some time.

However, this is seemingly not a fight on equal footing because of the very basis of the dogfight. See, conservative ideology bases itself on a strict adherence to gender roles, which includes the idea that women should be beautiful, generally speaking. On the other hand, American liberal ideology bases itself on a rejection of gender roles, including the rejection of beauty standards altogether.

Of course, nobody likes to be demeaned or insulted; when their appearance is dragged through the mud, even liberal women feel hurt. However, it's deeper than that for the other side.

For conservative women, to have their appearance insulted, to have their beauty---as in, their adherence to the beauty standards---be criticized, is to have their very nature be put into question. If they aren't beautiful, they are failing at being women, and that is the biggest sin an American conservative women can commit. When they're called ugly, they feel that it is their womanhood being attacked, and as that is what they cling to, it hurts much more than a simple insult.

Personally, I find it in rather poor taste to reduce oneself to dick-measuring contests (or mascara-application competitions, I guess), but I do see the humour in the dynamic.

I felt somewhat fancy, tonight; hope it came through in the text.

I often think about corruption.

There's bad people out there, but I do find it hard to believe that the only people that succumb to corruption are bad.

Recently, I've been thinking a little about the Luka trade from the Dallas Mavericks to the Lakers. It seems the consensus online was that this trade was sketchy---likely the result of some sort of corruption. Either the owners want to get the team to Vegas (unlikely) or they're cheap, but there's something they're not saying, and the fans feel like what happened was bad for the league in in general.

I wonder why they did it. Is it possible that Nico Harrison really is just a monumental idiot? Surely not. He's proven a few times that he can make reasonable trades. I find it extremely hard to believe that he'd make such a mess. As such, I'm also inclined to think something's afoot.

I'm a big fan of the occult. I've read quite a few grimoires and books of the sort, I've participated in some discussions online, whatever. That being said, I don't believe in the supernatural. Sure, there's many things we struggle to understand, but I'm a firm believer in the scientific method, rather than superstition.

That being said... I also think that there's no good reason to open an umbrella indoors. It's just one of those things, you know? You knock on wood, don't walk under a ladder, don't open an umbrella indoors, and so on. I guess I just... Go a few steps further. If someone asks me "Can I have your name?" I answer "I'll tell you, but you can't have it!" and laugh. I frame it as a little joke, but it's really not. For me, it's the same as the umbrella: I don't want to give anyone my name. I don't like telling people my name to begin with, but I refuse to give them my name.

I also hate talking about fairies and witches. I hate jinxes too. It's the kind of stuff I just don't do, because why would I? Why risk it? Even if it's impossible, why leave the door open? I don't.

I really like cool designs.

I think of myself as a fundamentally utilitarian person, when it comes to my purchases. I buy few things, and when I do, I try to make them high-quality and affordable.

That being said, I also find compelling designs to be... Well, compelling! A few years ago I dabbled in graphic design, did a few random things, nothing major, but it was lots of fun. Whenever I see a brand or packaging that's really cute or memorable, I really like it.

This isn't really particularly notable, I realize. That's the whole point of cool design, really. Still.

I know this guy---we're in the same Discord server---and he's a graphic designer. Or, well, he does graphic design. I was a graphic designer, then he worked in healthcare for a while, now he's going back to design... It's something like that, I'm not too sure. Regardless, I think the things he does are really cool.

I'm often taken by daydreams of idealism. One of these idealistic dreams is that of a single company that produces everything. Maybe it'd be more of a conglomerate? I don't know.

When I think about that, I get butterflies~ There's such a charming simplicity to that idea, I think.

I don't mean to demean---how musical...---individuality, but rather suggest the idea of a baseline. I think it'd be cool for a culture to have a "uniform"---something that everyone wears---but also support individuality and expression. Maybe this is impossible? I guess the value of that kind of thing would be not much... Everyone needs basics, but if everyone wants to wear different clothes, it would defeat the point a little. Maybe.

I don't know.

I wonder about cookware. Stainless is the way to go? I'll have to do some research on prices.

It's official. I'm addicted to Re:Zero.

I think Tappei Nagatsuki is a sadist.

I say "I think" more in the sense of "I know," actually.

There is no way that he makes Subaru go through this much pain and suffering if he's not thoroughly enjoying it.

At first, I thought he might be a masochist and Subaru was a self-insert, but I simply refuse to believe there's a maso out there that craves suffering to that extent. I refuse to believe it. Or rather, I simply don't want to live in a world where someone like that exists.

Truly, Subaru is nothing but a vessel for horror. This novel is not whatever the fuck novelupdates calls it.

It is pure and unadulterated pain. It is trauma in written form. What in the fuck.

I'm like 80% through Volume 6. As far as I can tell, I haven't even reached the most traumatic parts of this story. I have barely scratched the surface of this seemingly endless pit of depravity that calls itself "Re:Zero," written by what must be the world's greatest sadist: Tappei Nagatsuki.

This man is Hell. Note the capital H. I believe---hear me out---that Tappei Nagatsuki is the physical incarnation of Hell.

I looked it up. 15. Volume 15 is said to contain the most fucked up shit. I'm not even halfway there. I'm dying here. I... I can't... I'll get nightmares. I'm struggling to breathe, reading this accursed tome.

Tappei Nagatsuki, when I catch you Tappei Nagatsuki... When I catch you...

Reading Re:Zero Volume 5.

Holy shit.

That's all there really is to it. I really do wonder what he's gonna do. I mean, I can't even imagine it. I like to think I can relate to main characters, and though Subaru is somewhat reprehensible, he was also somewhat relatable, until now.

But at this point? Dude. He's fucked beyond belief. I can't even begin to express how MONSTROUS his situation is. Holy shit.

I am speechless.

I've always struggled to get through those lame parts in books. Not all books have these, but many do. It's those sections of the story where a big plot-point is resolved, but it's clear that there's still a lot of story to go, while simultaneously leaving the characters without anything clear to do.

This is the end of Volume 4 of Re:Zero, for me. It's so bad. The ending itself is OK---a little emotionally overwhelming---but the problem is the beginning of Volume 5. I didn't want to start it, because it felt like I'd gotten just enough closure, and the main character was too aimless for me to be interested.

I did end up picking it up, and it's good, by the way, but it is a very frustrating feeling.

What's up with her, anyway?

I remember her being everywhere some... Number of years... ago. Where is she? This is a rhetorical question, of course. I could find out where she is with a simple internet search! I simply refuse to.

See, ignorance is a funny thing. To not know is, in a way, to know! As my favourite philosopher---George Orwell---once very well said.

I keep getting TikToks about Palestinians asking for donations. Of course, I sympathize with the Palestinian plight, but at the same time I feel so silly watching them. For one, they're all misleading; the TikToks are framed as a regular TikTok, but at the end show an image of a Palestinian family asking for help. It feels so weirdly deceitful, though I suppose it's just to trick the algorithm. It feels wrong to judge the needy for the ways in which they go about simply asking for help. Another point is how these are whole accounts dedicated to posting seemingly endless stream of these posts. I'm sure they make some money off of it. Something else that does come up in my mind is that, if I wanted to make some money and had little to no scruples, I'd make one of these accounts.

It's so easy to rip a bunch of photographs and make one of these accounts.

I don't know. I feel rather powerless, in this situation. Pretty lost, too.

I heard something about Trump saying they're gonna clean out Gaza? That didn't sound very good, let me tell you.

Some of my housemates disrespect our shared spaces.

It's frustrating. One of my housemates actually talked to me about this, and asked me to approach another housemate and talk some sense into them. Very frustrating, indeed.

Something that does upset me particularly is the way they hog the clotheslines. There are three clotheslines for 4 people, but one of us usually dries their stuff outside, on a 4th clothesline. Still, somehow, every single one of them is constantly filled with rags and other stuff. Not even clothes! It drives me crazy... I did find that today, at least, there was one empty, save for a rag, which I moved, so I could actually do my laundry.

Whatever.

Another presentation today. I really hope I get a decent grade... I got complimented, but I wonder how much that's worth.

I wager, not that much, but some.

Wish me luck! I have another presentation soon, that makes 3 in a week. Also nervous for that one, but somewhat less so, since the last one is actually on a very similar topic to the first one, so I already have a half-made presentation. Not bad.

I've been obsessed with reading Re:Zero. I made a post about this only a few days ago, but holy crap! It's so good!