ryan

Happy New Year, .zoners!

We are now upgraded to the latest stable release of Mbin, v1.2.1. Check that link for a very nice changelog!

Separately, we've been running into server slowness and delayed receipt of messages. Because I lack any formal monitoring tools right now (should get on that), the task was to download the logs into Excel PowerQuery and look for any anomalies. Take a look at a summary below.

Issue: Slowness of received messages to the.coolest.zone, eventually leading to a delay of 2 days in recently-received messages.

Root cause: We found that a single IP address was scraping the website an average of 11.8 times per second with a maximum of 24 times per second. This was causing delays everywhere.

Corrective actions: We have learned how ufw-docker works (great instructions here!) and set a route deny rule for that particular IP address.

Future preventative actions: Now that I understand the www logs, it's time to put in some monitoring so this isn't fully a reactive process.

Thanks to @[email protected] for the networking assistance.

Breaking up due to her height

Everything is perfect with this girl I’ve been dating for 2 years. She’s cute enough and smart and makes good money. The only problem is that she is only 5’3” tall (which is good for an asian), while I’m 6’4”. Im scared she will give me short kids. My 6’3” uncle married a 5’2 Latina and his sons are all under 5’10. Is this too shallow? Can some genetics experts tell me otherwise? She’s expecting a proposal this year and I love her but I also don’t want to mess up life for my sons.

Notable comment reply from OP:

Does 5'9 mean 5'10? Because that's short, especially for a son. Even all of my sisters are over 6'

Imagine, the tragedy of having a 5'9" son.

I found that western girls r beautiful and attractive, Ima a fan of Winona Ryder since around 20 yrs ago, watched most of her shows and movies and really like her eyes and noses.

Ima a handsome man from 3rd country with 30+ yo, 96 pounds weight and 171cm tall, but Ima having difficulty finding one through tinder as tinder doesn’t show girls from more than 100mi and I can’t transfer to USA as my company doesn’t quite sponsor international transfer with L1B visa due to lacking HCs in USA, any tips on how to get a western girl from a non-western country? I really want to have a western girl plz.

Godspeed, emaciated Blinder! Hope you find the girl of your dreams.

Direct from Blind:

We take anonymity seriously here at Blind. We understand you might not want to participate in some discussions because you want to keep some things private or avoid inadvertently revealing yourself. We hear you, which is why you can now hide your company name when you write a post, comment or reply.

Here’s how it works:

• Update your Blind app to the latest version. Tap My Page on the bottom menu and select Store.
• Buy (post) Hide Company with B Money. You’ll need one Hide Company credit for each post you want to write without your company name. (We believe purchases help prevent abuse.)
• Activate Hide Company when you write a post, comment or reply to hide your company for that post.
• You won’t need to use Hide Company if you work at a startup and want to post, comment or reply in the Startup Lounge. You can always hide your company name in the Startup Lounge.
• Your company name won’t be visible for the entire post, including all comments and replies.

One "Hide Company" credit costs $3.99. Please take special note of the fact that it hides your company and not your username. If someone recognizes your username from another thread, boom, anonymity lost. You have to change your username (which also costs money). Amazing work, Blind.

Hey there, .zoners!

the.coolest.zone is now updated to the latest version of Mbin! This puts us slightly past v1.1.0.

For release notes, check out:

• Mbin v1.0.0
• Mbin v1.1.0

Hey there, .zoners!

We've migrated to Mbin, a community-managed and trust-based fork of kbin started by @melroy ! There is already a lot of activity going on, and we should expect to see more frequent updates now.

This initial migration took a little over 3 hours to complete and a lot of debugging by both myself and @ISometimesAdmin . I'm sure a lot of those issues certainly come from having previously used the Docker v1 kbin setup, and having to migrate data to the correct locations and such. There was additional excitement around the default Docker setup disabling Caddy's automatic HTTPS and subsequent troubleshooting and learnings. :) Everything should be up and back to normal now, and both of us are now a little more well-versed in the backend technology making up the .zone.

Support:

• Support Melroy here.
• If I discover other contributors' support links I will add them.

Wife wants to meet ex-bf

We're married for 10 years now and my wife wants to go to her high school reunion where her ex-boyfriend will be. I told her she shouldn't go, and she says that I have trust issues and that she's not planning to do anything. I don't understand why she wants to go see her ex-boyfriend from high school. Is this something that people are cool about?

Maybe... She just wants to go to her high school reunion? Sadly, no TC mentioned - we need both his and the ex-bf's to make an informed decision, of course 🙃

I'm 32 and still don't understand women

Can someone actually legit tell me how to treat women if my goal is to be respected and not have a sexless marriage? No trolling please, I’m being dead serious.

I’m 5’8, nice body, good face, but very unsuccessful with women long term. I’ve had some short term one night stands (10-15) and one relationship for 1.5 years all of it was through online dating apps, which are purely superficial and I truly have no social skills with women. All of my “success” has been completely superficial based and I’m completely fcked if I want a normal marriage.

I’m seeking advice with how to actually treat women. I was at the casino talking to this girl at the roulette table and then her fiancé showed up and was a complete asshat to her but she got closer to him and seemed like she liked being treated like a dumbass. On the other hand maybe she wanted me to hit on her. It got awkward when her fiancé showed up at the table. I assume fiancé since I saw the ring on her right hand.

I’m starting to think it’s entirely dependent on the woman. Like women who sleep around a lot, very promiscuous and don’t have a lot of money tend to like guys treating them like shit. Women who have no self esteem and think they can’t do better. Women who would cheat. Idk

Can someone explain it to me like you’re my father and I’m 10 just learning about girls for the first time. I’m being dead serious. Assume I’m on the spectrum and have no idea what I’m doing. Shape my mind like I’m a kid

Thanks

Notable comments (combo of useful and yikes):

Please watch videos on "dating red pill", "fresh and fit" Youtube channel to understand what is the current dating landscape and how it has changed in the last 20 years. As you are shorter than an average man, you've your work cut out for you. Better to educate yourself to understand what is the landscape is like, where you stand, what current women your age are looking for, etc.

Stop asking over and over your best bet is google and YouTube. No one should help you possibly breed. If you can’t figure out basic relationship dynamics at 32, then your genes should be removed from the pool and you should agree. No one is coming. Help yourself or be happy alone with yourself.

There are many women in their 30s looking for a great partner. I feel like in my 20s it was more single men, now it’s more single women. No time like the present to find a great wife.

So what works? Be authentic. Be you. Pursue your interests. Most of all, when you meet someone be very upfront about what you want. Kids? Career? House? Hobbies?

Also, avoid casinos and bars or places where the vibe is more casual hookups. Take a painting class or a yoga class. Go to the gym! Go skiing. Hiking. That kind of thing

We're now running the latest version of kbin!

Please let your friendly admins know if you encounter any issues while visiting the.coolest.zone.

As email is the original federated system, it might be worth looking to our history to see our future: what was once a utopia for nice people communicating with each other has become a spam-filled arms race dominated by only a few domains.

Email originally wasn't built with safety and protection in mind, and now we're racing to catch up - maybe we can do better on the Fediverse, but it'll take more than just kbin (or even kbin and Lemmy) - this would require coordination between everyone implementing ActivityPub.

(This is also a fun video in general which goes into the inner workings of email.)

👻

Spiner himself explained,

One of the ideas that John Logan and I had about what the next film would have been was a Justice League of Star Trek. Something would bring all the great Star Trek villains together, from Khan to Shinzon, and Picard is the only person who could stop them and he actually has to go through time and pluck out the people he needs to help him. He goes back to the moment before Data blows up and takes him back to get Kirk and Spock, and go even further back and get Scott Bakula's character, Archer.

I can't imagine it would have been good, but boy do I wish I existed in a universe where this movie had been made.