Then I don't know about being an asshole or not, but I think your gf has a point, wouldn't you agree?
I think volunteering is a great idea because it'll help you meet new interestng people while you "work" a job that matters and helps a cause you believe in. Keeps your brain active, you build community, you get something new to talk about with your gf... so many benefits :)
That's just body excercise, what about your mind?
Just make stuff, doesn't matter how shitty, just make something.
Look for basic tutorials that explain to you what you're doing and why, not the ones where they just have you repeat a bunch of steps like it's a list without any explanation. Also choose projects that you have at least some interest in, not just for learning, it'll help with motivation when things get hard.
As for which engine it depends on your goals... If you want to be an indie dev then I'd recommend to go with Godot and GDScript. It has the option to use C# but it's not made for it and you'll find many more resources if you use GDscript, plus it's easy to learn, especially if the coding mentality already clicked for you.
Avoid Unity.
If you want to focus more on design or levels or non-programming stuff to eventually work at a studio and be part of a bigger team then I'd recommend Unreal and using Blueprints. Unreal also has an amazing catalogue of free resources to learn.
Deadloch. Dark humor and murder mystery
Adding to what other people said there's volunteering for a cause you care about. It's a great way to meet other people that share your values.. be it helping with preparing meals for the unhoused, cleaning public spaces, planting trees, bothering your politicians, reading to elderly/kids/dogs, holding newborns without caretakers in hospitals, etc... look for your local organizations and reach out :)