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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ohtthatsnice on 2023-09-26 07:23:11.

I posted this in AITAH but i was getting too many comments from men just telling me to chill out and "it was just a joke".

I (34F) was watching episode 8 of the new season of Only Murders in the Building when my fiance (33M) came and sat down next to me on the couch. The actress who plays the police officer came into view and he immediately said "Damn, that's a big bitch!". I was in shock... He quickly noticed my shock and asked "which part are you mad about? Me saying she's big or me calling her a bitch?" I said "Um..both. wtf? That was so misogynistic.." He started saying it wasn't and how he was just quoting a movie but couldn't remember which one. (I had to use context clues from how he was describing the movie and it turned out to be Shallow Hal i guess) He said "what's the big deal.. I'm saying it in the comfort of my own home". I asked if he then thinks it would be okay for me to say the N word in the comfort of my own home (which for the record we are white and i would never do that) . He wouldnt answer yes or no, just went off on a tangent of how can you even compare what i said to that blah blah blah. Went on to yell at me to explain to him how what he said was misogynistic. I told him it's never okay to comment on a woman's weight or refer to her as a bitch so casually. It just bothered me. Am I reaching? He doesn't think anyone else would agree with me and thinks it's unfair to compare it to saying the N word (which I wasn't exactly doing I was just using his logic to show him how messed up that sounded). Like he won't even consider my concern and try to unlearn some bodyshaming/misogynistic tendency? I'm too frustrated to even explain to him why he should never comment on a woman's body period. He is an adult with 2 daughters. DAE just feel like it's not our job to teach our male partners why things they are doing are misogynistic especially when they get so defensive about it? Or do I need to chill out??

Just to clarify- I do realize I definitely shouldn't have used that analogy because the two don't compare..I was in a heated moment and wanted him to really see how messed up what he said was. I should've given a different example because I know nothing of what it feels like to be called the N word.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/dicksaremybread on 2023-09-26 17:15:15.

I’m working out by myself in a somewhat rural area (22F) and my store closes at 7:45 automatically, auto locking the door. Last night while closing alone a man came to the shop door at 7:45 exactly. I had forgotten to turn the neon open sign off so I apologized and told him we were closed. All the while this man is continuing to aggressively try and open the door. I’m refusing to let him in shocked as this man keeps trying to open the door despite me standing there and telling him we are closed repeatedly. The man then tells me that I can let him in because he’s “not A…” he literally said that and then stopped himself when he realized what he was about to say. This man then tells me (through the glass door) that he is having car troubles and asks if he can stay in our parking lot. There is a gas station right down the street. I assumed his car was broken down here though so I told him that was fine. I waited to leave the store until I knew he was actually there for car assistance and not just waiting for me to get off. Flash to this morning, I open the store again. The same man from last night I witnessed getting road assistance is still in the parking lot. He sees me get out of my car and I am trying to get inside to open the store on time, he decides to try and flag me down for something. I straight bolted into the store and as I’m sitting here typing this he’s still in the parking lot. I truly think he is clueless that I find him off putting in anyway. I also don’t see how he doesn’t get the hint I was scared/ am scared of him.

Edit: am I crazy or justified in feeling this way? Idk.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/scarlet_poppies on 2023-09-26 16:31:04.

This guy I have been seeing doesn’t seem to care that they could give me an STI because they want to hook up with other people while hooking up with me and not use a condom.

I really liked him but his nonchalant attitude about my health and safety really hurt; I can’t see him as even attractive because he doesn’t seem to even have respect for me or anyone else he’s having sex with.

And the worst part is, I have had a crush on him for years but if I can draw a boundary with him I can do it with anyone..

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Ridan_ on 2023-09-26 15:14:06.

Quick debrief: we’re both 24, been together 3 years, lived together 2 weeks, everything else is genuinely fine- I don’t have the issues of having a man child that does no housework, we get on great etc

But the boy goes through stuff so fast

Even mouthwash, I bought a bottle last week and it’s already half empty. It usually takes me like 2 months to get through a bottle?

We take turns doing shared food shops but his portions are basically double mine. As in, I’ll put my portion in a bowl and he’ll eat the rest from the pan. We’re both gym rats so all our food is home cooked with lots of veg/salads but I’m already noticing I’m spending a lot more on food than I usually do. When we cook together and I portion something out he’ll be like nah I’m hungry put more in and then we’ve gone through a big shop in about 2 days that he ate 70% of. And I get it, he weight trains and has 20kg on me but still.

I recently got a pay rise which means we’re on about the same (he makes a few k more from bonuses. Gotta love consulting). But I get paid a month in arrears which means atm I’m still on a lot less than him until my paycheque at the end of October.

What’s a good way to have this conversation and a reasonable solution? I don’t want to be a couple that nickel and dime eachother but at this rate it feels like I’m expensing his diet.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/jupitersalien on 2023-09-26 11:16:16.

Preface, I am about to be 31 in a couple of months and have been menstruating since I was in 5th or 6th grade (so 11-12 for me) and I used to really want to get my period before that, cause that was the "cool adult thing" to have according to my stupid preteen brain. But now over the years, I've started to have this hate about having them. I honestly feel like I'm not supposed to have them. Like I don't want kids, so why should my body be producing a thing that is for that? I also don't want any reproductive parts of my vagina, only the feel good parts. I also have been brainwashed by society in thinking that periods are gross and vile. Especially by an ex boyfriend who refused to have sex with me when I was menstruating. It doesn't help that my Nexplanon birth control makes me have like weeks long periods so I can be bleeding almost all month sometimes.

I hate having periods so much and wish I didn't have them. Like lemme trade off that and the reproductive parts for a futa cock or something I can grow, keep the feel good hole part though, cause that's the only use for my vagina. Like how can I be okay and accepting a bodily function I don't even want and hate having cause it reminds me of something completely unnecessary for me. How can I be okay with a bodily function where society has shamed and made it like it's the exact same thing as urinating, defecating, and vomiting. Hell I don't even like going to the bathroom because it's gross and I wish I didn't pee or poop. Or had the ability to vomit cause that's gross and traumatizing. I just don't know how to be okay with all of this. I hate it. I am tired of it. I wish I didn't have these things. And I wish I could go back in time and beat the shit outta preteen me being all "omg I wish I could get my period! I'll finally be a grown woman!" blah blah blah. Like bitch you don't know how fucking disgusting this shit is, and how you will have it until you are old and rotten at age 40!

Any advice on how to be okay with this shit?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/shatteredbreathless on 2023-09-26 10:32:23.

It's not his fault. We have discussed whether or not we want to have children for the last few years and ultimately decided it wasn't for us, but we are open to the idea of fostering when we are more financially stable. Besides me having worked at length in the past with children in the foster care system, we both have medical conditions we would rather not pass on to the next generation, and love each other deeply, and would love to provide a safe and stable home environment to a young person in need.

My hang up comes from trauma related to my ex-husband. We were married young and always said we would wait until we were 30 to try for kids. When I was 29, he cheated on me and left me for his mistress. He threw every mutual decision we ever made in my face. Where we moved to, which career field he chose to enter, and when to limit contact with alcoholic abusive family members. All of those decisions were a grueling process, often taking months and multiple discussions with a therapist to weigh our options, in which I confirmed with Ex over and over again it was what he really wanted.

I grew up in a household where all my decisions were made for me, and my autonomy was not respected. It's something I'm particularly sensitive about, and I never want anyone to feel that way. Perhaps it's annoying to others, but I've always been the type to offer alternative choices if someone seems indecisive and also remind them that they have the ability to choose their own path, and I won't be bothered if someone chooses something that prioritizes their own needs. It's what I always wished someone would have done for me growing up. Ex throwing the careful planned decisions we made together in my face utterly shattered me.

Anyway, because Ex threw all our mutual decisions in my face and called me controlling, I have been a wreck over my fiance's vasectomy. Fiance had never wanted kids, but I was still on the fence about it when we met before ultimately deciding I would rather foster. But while I was on the fence, he was 100% on board on having kids if that was what I decided I wanted. In his own words "I never considered the possibility of wanting children until I met you. Imagining myself as a husband and father was effortless with you."

He's so kind and compassionate. I was shaking with anxiety when I told him I decided I was not wanting to go through pregnancy and birth, but would maybe want to become a foster guardian. I was so afraid he would rage against me flip-flopping and seeming indecisive, and it took me weeks to work up the courage to tell him. When I did, he just shrugged, kissed me, and said "Cool, whatever makes you happy. I'm totally on board to foster when we're ready."

We talked about it for 6 more months before he was the one to offer to get a vasectomy. I've been on six different birth controls over the last 10 years and have experienced a plethora of negative side effects since. He said he wouldn't mind doing something so relatively minor compared to all the suffering women experience in the name of family planning. I swear he knows just what to say to have me bawling like a baby.

Now my darling man is on bed rest and very sore after the procedure. He's been such a dream. I've kept my anxiety to myself, even though I know he would support me through it. Right now, I just want him to focus on healing and his own needs. I just can't help but be afraid that one day he will throw this in my face. He's never done anything of the kind, and I recognize it is a remnant of trauma with Ex. I was just hoping for some kind of reassurance from you guys. He's asleep beside me looking so at ease and I don't want to burden him. I care about him so very much and feel so fortunate to have him.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/tazlah on 2023-09-26 10:17:55.

We have it set up so that when I order an Uber it goes through my partners account. Today while out in a rougher part of town I could not get it to connect. while I’m trying to book the Uber a man pulls up and says ‘he’s here.’ Stupidly I said ‘no your not my uber’ He pushes that he is and then offers a free ride. Asks if I need money. I just backed up into the few people there on the main road terrified.

I continue trying when I realise it’s not working cause my partner has insufficient funds. The ride was $9.08

I call him at work and ask him to put money on the card I’m scared in the rain and a guy is trying to get me in his car.

His first response ‘it’s not raining’.

He gets home after a half day at work and sleeps for the rest of the day while I handle the twins who are nearly 3yo on my own.

When he wakes up he can see I’m about to burst. I don’t remember what I said but his response was ‘start on me and I will walk out’

He said this and my kids who are running around and won’t shut up actually stood still and silent. Staring at him.

So I guess the scare I had means nothing, and I just have to bear it. Oh and it never rained today. There’s currently a thunderstorm ‘but it’s not raining’

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/astorituenakloh on 2023-09-26 08:29:10.

This is going to be quite different than posts here. Let me start off by a disclaimer: I do not endorse kid sized "adult" clothing, it is inappropriate.

But everytime I go clothes shopping the girls section has colorful patterns, flattering flowy dresses, dresses with tutu-like tuille, well matched accessories, etc. While in the women section it is mostly the same navy, grey, black tiered dresses. I just want to be able to twirl in my colorful poofy tutu dresses :c

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/PauI_MuadDib on 2023-09-26 04:44:27.

This is a disturbing, but informative read about how police take advantage of and, in certain instances, even emotionally abuse vulnerable victims. Turning a rape victim into a suspect, and using our legal system to intimidate victims into not pursuing prosecution of their rapist.

This reminded me of the Netflix series Unbelievable, which was based on the true life story of a rape victim who police falsely accused of making up her attack. They charged her with filing a false report, published her mugsgot in the news and fined her $500. After the police finally discovered she wasn't lying, years had passed and her rapist had multiple more victims by that point. The police didn't apologize to her, or the victims they could have prevented. The prosecutor didn't apologize either. She was refunded the $500. The article Unbelievable was based on won a well deserved Pulitzer Prize, and can be read here:

.

The Mother Jones article sadly reminds me of that Unbelievable case.

This is a huge part of why victims don't come forward. And I wish politicians cared enough about police reform to do something of actual value, and that goes for both parties. I'm so tired of seeing victims being treated this way.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Da_Kahuna on 2023-09-26 03:33:36.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/whatinyourwhat on 2023-09-26 03:43:28.

Not sure of I'm looking for advice or to commiserate, but this happened first thing when I got to work and I'm still angry when I think about it.

Back story: I'm an engineer for a large company, one of the parts of the company is nutrition where we make things in bottles with twist off caps. One of the specs we measure is removal torque of the cap. If it's not on tight enough, there isn't a seal; if it's on too tight, it's too hard for consumers to get off.

Recently, a daily task was given to me to pull the torque data for the past 24 hours to go over in a morning touch base meeting with quality, maintenance, operations, etc. The meeting is at 9:30 and they wanted it from 9 am the previous day to 9 am that day. I told them that that wouldn't be possible to have ready for the meeting and I asked to pull it before I left the day before. So on Friday mornings we review the data from Wednesday at 4 pm to Thursday at 4 pm. On Monday we review the data from Thursday to Friday.

Last pieces to the puzzle is that my specific line was down from Tuesday afternoon until Thursday evening. I was also off on Friday.

Actual story: This morning I show up to work and go straight to the morning meeting. The manager of operations wants to review torque data and I tell him that it was not pulled on Friday as I was out and no one covered that part of my job. He immediately is agitated and starts yelling at me asking why no one did this, why wasn't it covered, etc. I try to calmly explain that I was out on scheduled PTO, my supervisor should have made sure there was coverage for my job, and that I would pull it when I go back to my desk. He just keeps going though, almost berating me over this data that was not pulled and how I need to make sure it get pulled even if I'm off and how unacceptable every answer I give him is. Honestly, I saw red, I was so pissed. And I am actually proud of myself for not taking his yelling laying down, not apologizing, and staying calm.

After this meeting, even one of the other engineers said something to me about it and could tell I was mad. Not only did he yell at me, but he yelled at me in a multidisciplinary meeting in front of a dozen people.

The icing on the cake this morning was that my manager emailed me very shortly after asking why the torque data spreadsheet hadn't been updated since Tuesday afternoon. Reminder, the line didn't run from Tuesday until Thursday evening and I wasn't here Friday to pull the data.

Normally, I would have been annoyed and moved on, but after getting yelled at by a man so far out of my reporting structure, I was ready to quit. She has been know to go behind me and recheck my decisions and requests and question me or just reply and change it to what she thinks. If you don't trust me to do my job and are just going to come behind me and do it anyway, why am I even here?

Luckily, no one was using the conference room after us, so I was able to stay behind and cry a little and calm myself down. I went back to my desk and found out my friend was leaving so I took his office for the day and just worked and listened to music.

As annoyed as I was with my manager, I sent her an email as I left work explaining briefly what happened this morning. I told her it was absolutely uncalled for and unprofessional and that if it happens again I am walking away and escalating it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/candykitten00 on 2023-09-26 01:03:52.

I turn 25 in less than a month. I've been with my boyfriend who I actually see a future with for over 1.5 years. We recently moved in together. I've always hated kids and never wanted them. Never wanted kids, never wanted marriage, never wanted anything "traditional".

I've noticed since I was around 20 I VERY slowly started wanting kids more. However never actually WANTING kids, more just having moments here and there where I saw the good sides or thought a particular child was cute. But the bad stuff always seemed so extremely horrendous that it always overpowered anything good.

Now the past few months or so I've suddenly had this growing desire to have a baby. I don't know why. It's kind of annoying me as I've always hated kids and never wanted them and never understood why anyone would and even got annoyed at my boyfriend for wanting them, calling him brainwashed.

But now I just keep imagining having a baby/child/teenager and imagining the good parts of it and really liking it and wanting it. Every time I see a baby it excites me and I think they're so cute. Even if they're crying, I imagine myself trying to soothe them.

What is this?! God damn mother nature, why?!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Hot-Pear-2195 on 2023-09-26 03:07:25.

Has anyone ever tried to leave a guy and they use their body to block the door? I’ve had two ex boyfriends do this to me and one of them even took my phone so I couldn’t call the cops. I tried leaving after they screamed at me over something little/accused me of cheating.

Is that a form of abuse? I’m not small but definitely not big enough to push past a 200+lb guy. Being physically kept from leaving was so frustrating. The last guy who did this to me, I started hitting him in the chest to try and get him to move out of the way and he threw me to the ground. His whole family was home and I’m sure someone heard, but looking back they were all enablers.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/HijackedHuman on 2023-09-26 00:34:33.

We’d been together for about 7 years & we live about 1.5hrs apart. He lives in the city I live in the country. We got along really well except for when he would get really angry & scream at me every once in a while. He would always apologize & I got over it cuz I’m an adult who understands strong emotions. His dad died a few months a go & recently he’s been saying more hurtful stuff more frequently. He had a literal melt down recently when he came to my home to visit me. He said he didn’t love me, which I take to be the end of the relationship. He says he was justifiably upset on top of dealing w his grief over his dad & I should just forgive him. Who is crazy here?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/supersleepykitten on 2023-09-26 01:09:00.

Basically the title but his place is so gross!! Like it smells bad and I’m worried that I’m going to smell now and how fucking embarrassing that will be when going to class and professional stuff. He even told me to just not go into the living room and kitchen for now because he is going to have to pay to have a truck come pick up the garbage so I am basically confined to the bedroom and bathroom and those aren’t even clean either. There are spiders and fruit flies everywhere. I bought new towels and hung one over the shower curtain excited to take a nice hot shower and feel clean and when I got in I saw that the towel was covered in spider webs with a big spider on it. I had hung my clean clothes on the towel rack so I could get dressed after and a huge spider was crawling on my clothes too.

He just confronted me earlier about not being ‘affectionate’ which yeah is true, so I told him I’m turned off by how dirty it is and why would I be in the mood when I’m surrounded by filth? Like his personal hygiene is fine when it comes to showering and shit like that but that doesn’t matter when he just puts on dirty clothes and sleeps on fucking smelly sheets covered in dirt. His response was that this was how his place was last time I visited. Now his place was definitely not as clean as I would have liked it to be last time but it wasn’t anywhere near this bad. And I told him SO MANY times that the cleanliness was a big issue for me and a huge concern/hesitation when it came to my moving here. We talked about it many times. He said he wanted to work on it too and would make sure that the place was clean when I arrived. He started complaining about being overwhelmed and not having enough time to finish cleaning literally the day I was flying here so I snapped at him and told him not to worry about it and I would just buy cleaning supplies and clean it myself because obviously at that point it felt too late for me to reschedule but I didn’t know it was going to be this bad at all. I actually wouldn’t even mind cleaning the place but it’s bad to the point where I cannot fix it. I know he’s been depressed and tired from work and I get it. I understand why he feels overwhelmed by it because I do too. I just wish I knew how truly bad it was and that he hadn’t kept telling me he was gonna have the place clean for me.

I just don’t know what to do. I like this city and I was excited for my masters program, I think it will be really good for me and really good for my career but obviously I CANNOT live here in this apartment. I could move to a new place with him as my only issue with him is this and I do think he’d change his habits in a new place. But like is it just going to be because I’m there to bitch at him and not let it get bad? I understand getting depressed and not having the energy to clean up but I also feel extremely disrespected so idk. I could break up with him and try to find a place I can afford on my own like a studio or a house share. It would be really hard but I think I could make it work, I would still get to do my masters program and honestly probably grow a lot as a person through it but I might also be really lonely. Or I could just go home. I’d be out thousands of dollars and be super embarrassed and have to stay with one of my parents. Idk how long it would take me to recover/figure things out for myself again. But at least I’d be in a familiar, safe place.

What do I do?? Sorry for the super long post but I could really use advice or encouragement right now

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Anonymous__alligator on 2023-09-25 23:12:10.

I’m 30 and I just had a baby in July so I hadn’t really drank in over a year until this past weekend. Holy shit. It hit me like a truck. Like yeah I probably had 2-3 glasses of wine too many (it was a wedding), but the whole next day was a complete write off physically and mentally. It was horrible. I had so much anxiety even though I know I didn’t do or say anything embarrassing (I didn’t black out and left at a reasonable time before things got sloppy!). Anxiety (or “hangxiety”) for literally NO reason. Not to mention the brutal nausea and all-day splitting headache.

Anyone else feel like this? Drinking over 30 is miserable and I honestly would rather just stay sober than risk this happening again!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Laescha on 2023-09-25 22:32:30.

In the last few weeks, I've started getting this popup often when I'm commenting in this sub. It seems to be triggered by anatomical terms like "vagina" or "uterus", or terms relating to sex, like "condom".

Given that a lot of threads here are on the topics of sex and reproductive health, I'm surprised that terms like that are included in a language filter, even if the words do just trigger a popup rather than being actually banned.

Is this a moderation decision? Or a sitewide thing? I haven't seen it in other subs, but then I don't tend to talk about clitorises in other subs much. If it's sub-specific, I'd be interested to know the rationale.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Prestigious-Mode-713 on 2023-09-25 20:52:34.

25, F, BW (Black woman) I know the best course of action is to distract myself and not rely on Google or even Reddit, but I’m so scared I have cancer. Earlier this month I felt a pain in my left breast and noticed what appeared to be two distinct lumps. This has never happened to be me before. I figured if it hadn’t gone away in a week or two, I would schedule an appointment. I went to the breast center in mayo about a week ago. Im scheduled for a ultrasound next week and I literally can’t keep myself from crying and staying up thinking I have cancer and im going to die soon! I just really had to let that out, thank you for reading

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Visual-Basis8989 on 2023-09-25 23:51:48.

Long story short (this is NOT medical advice, just my own personal story because I scoured the internet looking for answers and could hardly find anything regarding this topic)

I’m writing this post for anyone that has been in my place and for public knowledge as FOUR different gynecologists couldn’t find out a simple reason why i was bleeding and spotting non-stop after a copper IUD insertion but I did!

I had Nova -T IUD inserted postpartum and right after the insertion i bleed and spotted for 6 months straight until I couldn’t take it no more and had it removed

I don’t know why but i had a feeling that this could be because i’m very petite 4”11 and felt like my uterine debth could potentially be too small for the IUD, I did voice my concerns but it was disregarded by the doctor that did the insertion, after 6 months of the insertion i went online to read the insertion instructions for practitioners online and come to find out that the minimum uterine depth for it was 6cm

I then switched to Flexi-t 300 which was the smallest commercially available copper IUD and it’s designed for uterine depth of 5cm or more, during the insertion i asked the gynecologist about my uterine depth and it turns out it was only 5.5cm which meant the previous IUD was too large for my uterus and caused the non-stop bleeding and spotting

Fast forward i’m now two weeks in and the bleeding and spotting with the new IUD only lasted a week!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/LamentforJulia on 2023-09-25 23:21:02.

I was a witness for two years and it was beyond horrible. And by witness I mean victim but you are not treated like one at all. I'm stunned I made it through those two years, and I thought about suicide many times.

Hmm where should I start? I met with my ada (assistant DA) for two minutes, and in that time she got details of my case wrong. She also did not bring the evidence. The judge, for her part was just belligerent. One of the first things she said to me was "We don't have all day." Apparently you are not allowed to show fear or even anxiety in front of the person that assaulted and then raped you. A person you once hid from in a bathroom for hours. If you show fear, you are somehow suspect. The judge tossed my case and I had to appeal it. After this the DA seemed to percieve me as bad at my job. What I took away from this was that I was not supposed to have any trauma from this experience, and nothing about this of course makes any sense. Who wouldn't have any? If a person didn't show fear in front of their offender wouldn't this in fact be an indication that they were lying?

I could barely sit on the stand and I'm amazed I didn't vomit actually. And this was the first hearing. Not only was my rapist and his attorney and members of his family present, but also all the accused sex offenders of that week (there were a lot). I was like entering a pit of hell. In a trial at least you have some privacy (jury members are fine to me, though this must be hard too. But compared to how first hearings are held, a jury sounds wonderful). This all ended, btw, in a plea deal of 3 years probation. It wasn't entirely useless though as this person now has a record.

Anyway, I'm very curious if anyone else here has worked as a witness. How'd that go? Are you alive??

ALSO, if you were a victim who never came forward I completely understand you. Every single thing about this was difficult, and now on top of having rape trauma I have court trauma.

Sexism and misogyny are standard defenses of a rapist, but also they are used by their defense attorneys. The court does nothing to prevent this, not only that but they believe these defenses are legitimate. Imagine a standard defense of murder being: "Well the victim wanted to be murdered anyway. I mean look at how he dresses and acts. And why was he standing there anyway? He was just asking to be stabbed to death."

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Danivelle on 2023-09-25 22:57:54.

On who is in the delivery room period dot end. Any male person who says he needs his mom there has just volunteered to have a colonoscopy and hemorrhoidectomy with his MIL observing.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/PeriPapershop on 2023-09-25 21:07:01.

I'm not sure what inspired it, but something must have because he doesn't read books very often.

He's always had an understanding of feminism that's way above average for a cis white dude, but there are a couple of little things that he has given me some push-back on. Mainly over the broad-brush concept of "identity politics" and how they're "just a distraction" from the more pressing issues of class, unprecedented economic inequality, and the looming threat of ecological collapse.

He woke me up last night to tell me what he'd learned and apologized for not understanding, or wanting to understand where I'd been coming from in our discussions. He said Audre Lorde in particular pointed out several typical white-dude things that he thinks or does, that up to now he used to think were innocuous. He's still talking about it, asking how many of these things apply to my experience (all of them, honey) and asking what other books I think he should read. (Right now I think he might be making a reddit post about it somewhere.. he keeps asking me what I think are the simplest versions of feminist vocab words, the ELI5 version.)

I'm kind of blown away. I wasn't home for most of the weekend but whenever I saw him he pretended to be playing Starfield. That was just a cover. He literally read all weekend. The only other thing he did was make dinner on Saturday.

I'm so curious what got him started, but I'm going to try to play it cool and let it unfold organically.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/cinnamonbunnss on 2023-09-25 19:23:26.

I see more and more posts on Reddit of men complaining that women on dating apps only swipe right on the tallest, most attractive, most rich men, and that they wouldn’t give 95% of other men the time of day. That women have it so much easier than men on these apps. That women’s standards are too high, that they think most men are unattractive, and it’s unfair that only the “top 1%” of men are getting “picked” or “chosen” on apps. So what is the end goal of that argument? All I see is that it implies that we as women should not have a choice. That we should be required to give men we don’t find attractive “a chance” in order to level the playing field. Otherwise, what is their solution to this? I feel like nobody is asking that question. It’s chilling to see how entitled these men are to women’s time, bodies, lives, etc. As a woman who’s used these apps, it definitely was not easy finding a decent, kind man that I was attracted to. But I did, and have been in a relationship with him for years. He’s not tall, or rich, or extremely handsome. But he’s perfect for me. So I’m not sure where men are getting this idea.

Edit to add: someone commented & immediately deleted something along the lines of “calling out harmful or problematic behavior isn’t saying that different choices should be forced.” HOW is it harmful for a woman to not swipe right on a man she doesn’t find attractive? You understand mutual attraction is usually absolutely necessary for a romantic/sexual relationship to work? Is this real life?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/jesssss2051 on 2023-09-25 18:46:49.

So I am a bikini barista, it helps support me through college and I make great income through it. More than my boyfriend makes at his entry level engineering job. Lately we’ve barely been having sex and when I asked him he’s like it’s a turn off to know how many guys see you half naked everyday. I really didn’t know what to say and just was like but your the only one seeing me naked and sleeping with me but he didn’t really buy that. For context I had the job before I met him and he knew about it before we started dating.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/hyperfocuspocus on 2023-09-25 18:05:06.

My friend just messaged me with a news article. Someone in our city is advertising a WHITES ONLY moms-and-tots group, for children to be “with others who look like them” and “without forced diversity” and I’m so …. Angry, yes, disgusted, for sure, but also disappointed.

People are pretty mad and I’m sure this group will be shit down, but how the actual fuck do people dare to write this out loud.