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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/kishbish on 2023-09-25 17:06:55.

I’m talking about little shit that builds over time into something intolerable, and then one little thing - that may have been meaningless on its own - happens and you just think, “You know what? Fuck this shit.”

I think I’ve hit mine with a friendship but am interested to see what others say (so I can feel less alone 😭).

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/lazynlovinit on 2023-09-25 14:46:42.

There is a lot of hurt that I have simply got to put beyond me, and stop nursing grudges. I do no want to spend my last years wallowing in bitterness like my mother did. I’ve tried therapy, and all that ended up being is a reiteration of the same trite bullet points you can find anywhere on the internet.

What actually worked for you

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/MajorHotLips on 2023-09-25 11:53:13.

Any witty comebacks for this one?

For reference, I am not over weight but I am lazy and have been eating only twice a day because it's convenient and I just prefer it. That means when I eat my main meal, it's big. I keep getting comments from family and co-workers about my big meals and it's stressing me out. I grew up in a family where everything you ate was eyeballed and judged, wanting more was basically considered immoral and therefore I have some hang ups and anxiety around being judged for what I'm eating.

I wish people could just mind their own business.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/la_vie_en_tulip on 2023-09-25 16:04:40.

As someone who grew up gaming, along with every other girl I knew, I never understood the focus on only men as gamers. And turns out that statistically, it is not even true.

LINKS:

https://www.statista.com/forecasts/494867/distribution-of-gamers-by-gender-usa#:~:text=As%20of%20March%202023%2C%2049,gamers%20in%20the%20United%20States.

https://www.statista.com/forecasts/1221452/us-smartphone-gamers-by-gender#:~:text=As%20of%20June%202023%2C%20some,results%20with%20Statista%20Consumer%20Insights.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/r2bee22 on 2023-09-25 15:00:55.

I feel like any time something new is developed that is supposedly take humans to the next level, men find a way to use it to terrorize women. Like AI is now used to create deep fake nudes and porn videos of women. In Spain there is a big national outcry because school girls as young as 11 reported that their schoolmates made and shared nudes of them with AI tools. It just doesn't stop 😔

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Insomnianianian on 2023-09-25 14:22:23.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/hereshecomes2 on 2023-09-25 13:55:33.

Assault and coercion is so common, too common, in special ed or group home.

When it's from another disabled person it's people "discovering" and when it's from an able person it's consent... my sister can't get anywhere without being abuse, someone even told us it was happening because she was pretty and you couldn't tell she is disabled... she is very naive and doesn't see the wrong in people, that doesn't mean she want to do things.

It's so infureting to hear a grandmother says that she has need to and is loving the attention.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Mewtwo-Y on 2023-09-25 14:05:50.

Thought someone might need to hear this today. A lot of us get entangled in messy relationships, and don't know what to do to get closure, or how to emotionally distance ourselves from them.

Sending a lot of love to all of you ❤️

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/LtCommanderCarter on 2023-09-25 13:12:29.

I mean sometimes women do too but I feel like people just let men go off more often.

This weekend I was hosting a birthday party for my 1 yr old and one of the guests spent a long time talking about how actors can be replaced by AI. The example he gave was Star Wars, specifically the young Carrie Fischer scenes in the newer movies.

I locked eyes with my husband because well, that is not AI, it's CGI and maybe deepfake.

But it got me thinking, if I had said that I would have been corrected immediately.

Later in the conversation this dude was insistent that the Dolly Parton book program was dated because kids don't read textbooks anymore they read tablets. I tried to explain that books for the 0-5 demo are not entirely about reading, it's about hearing words, bonding with parents and the concept of books. Kids that young have trouble learning words from TV because theres too much going on and TV usually has less context. There's an entertainment value to children's books too. But yes they are also still educational to the building blocks of reading even if most school work is on a tablet. He barely let me speak. He's not an educator or a parent. Like being a parent doesn't automatically qualify me to talk about it, but I've read up on what's good for development of my baby. And I know first hand that you run out of things to talk to a baby about and an age appropriate book gives you a script to follow. So yes underprivileged kids having more books is good for them.

Anyway, tell me about some confidently wrong men!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/holsthepisces on 2023-09-25 13:14:49.

I honestly don’t know what to say right now.

I had been planning and researching to make a good strawberry meringue cake that I wanted to try out and put so much effort and time into this, only for my husband to fuck it up.

Last night, I caught him in the kitchen grabbing what must have been another slice since 1/4 of it was already gone. I slapped his shoulder and yelled at him that it was the cake I made for work. He claimed to not have known that it was specifically the one that I was bringing to work since I had already made a couple over the past week in preparation. The thing is I specifically told him earlier that day, and it was obvious that was the one I intended on bringing because I left it untouched and covered it. I haven’t even given my son a piece, which should have gave it away if he had any doubts.

He messed up and tried saying it wasn’t that serious because I hadn’t known this coworker for that long when I’ve known her for almost 6 months now and she’s always had my back. He said my cake didn’t fit for the occasion and it was more of a ‘springtime dessert’.

I was (and still am) so angry and his excuse was he had taken a hit from his friend's weed pen earlier and had extreme munchies and shouldn’t have eaten that much. He said he was going to the gym to work it off. I said, "Yeah, that’s great, but what exactly is that doing for me?!" His solution was to run to the store and buy something from the bakery section.

sigh

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/SuperPutin54 on 2023-09-25 07:11:44.

The guy I'm dating has a real skincare routine. Cleanser, moisturizer and a separate facial sunscreen. I've been thinking about having the DTR talk soon, and this is such a green flag for me.

It feels like such a low bar, but it's really nice to find a man that takes care of himself and takes pride in it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Meep1996 on 2023-09-25 06:34:54.

I recently went out to eat with the guy I’m dating at a small restaurant that I’d never been too. Whenever we go out to eat if we’re sharing he will order for both of us just because he’s more talkative. This day was one of those times but it was basically all food I chose. I just nodded and said thanks while he ordered. We get our food and my date asked our waitress for some soy sauce and when she came back she only directed herself at me and only glanced at him even though I didn’t ask for the soy sauce.

While I noticed I didn’t say anything until he leaned over and was like “don’t you think it’s weird she only directed herself to you?” Right away I explained saying “it’s possibly because you ordered and I didn’t say anything other than thanks and nodding. She might’ve thought you weren’t letting me pick what to eat and made a girl power move to let me know she had my back if needed.” Needless to say he was surprised and was like “but I wasn’t doing that” (not upset just a little shocked) and I explained that he wasn’t but the waitress didn’t know that and that’s just a way to let other women know we see what’s happening and that it’s not too uncommon for stuff like that to happen. Sometimes the situation just gets misread. As the night went on it seemed like she saw everything was fine but man I appreciated her so much!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/where_is__my_mind on 2023-09-25 05:44:27.

Trauma responses can be hard.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/shrbtfvisvkrz on 2023-09-25 04:33:51.

Really struggling right now with feeling bad about how my vagina looks and not wanting to have sex again because of it. When I’ve vaguely described it to close friends, they responded in a disgusted manner… My ex (turns out he’s gay but this still hurt my feelings) after he took my virginity said “well at least you don’t have roast beef” completely unprovoked ☹️ I know all vaginas are normal and beautiful but it’s so hard to feel sexy when I have a huge micro penis size ugly chewed gum looking clit. I’ve only slept with him and been celibate like 3 years. I’m a relatively pretty girl, but it feels like I’m walking around with a secret and that’s that I’m actually not that and have a monster vagina. I like this guy and it seems like he likes me too but I don’t want to try because I feel like even if he says it’s okay he’ll secretly think it’s disgusting. I’ve read all the things that are supposed to make a person feel better about this but idk. I still feel like shit about it. I’m 20 so I want to have sex, I just feel so bad about myself. Gonna talk to my therapist and get her advice. Just wanted to rant here because I don’t have another appointment for two weeks. Was anyone able to overcome this feeling?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Waitingforabluebox on 2023-09-25 04:38:30.

I am devastated and I think the whole world can hear the breaking of my heart.

I am 37, been with my husband since we were 18, got married at 23. Life was really great and I thought we were such an amazing pair. He was more outgoing and I was more introverted, I thought we balanced each other out perfectly. He was in the military and when he got out, there was some bad years there but we were each other's support and I always thought we would get through it. It was really tough for a while, but we made a move to be closer to family about two years ago and I thought it was something and someplace we both wanted.

A few months ago, I noticed that things were feeling off between us. I tried to find ways to connect more and be more close, but it seemed like it was getting worse. About 6 weeks ago, he broke down and admitted that he doesn't think we have much in common anymore. He said it was hard to communicate with me and he thinks we are too different now. That he still loves me, but he doesn't have anything to talk to me about. It was a very emotional day and also very confusing because while we were having a discussing about how things felt different, I said I always felt our differences where our strength and he doesn't think it works any more. It ended in us having sex and then he moved on like we didn't have that conversation. It got bad again quickly, he never wanted to talk to me and he straight up kept saying he was not interested in what I was saying. So I stopped talking to him.

Now the same conversation is back again. He thinks we are just too different, so I ask "Ok, what do we do? Try? Do you even want to be married to me?" And it ends with him just saying that he doesn't know but that we are too different and that my lifestyle goals do not align with his. He changes his obsessions in life every so often and now it is being outside and active 24/7. He wants to go backpacking for a month and go hiking all the time, but I have never ever been that person. I want to do somethings outside and travel and try new things, but I also want to sit and read and chill and be happy being solitary.

I wound up going to my mom's this weekend just to breathe and it was so nice to be around people who wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to think about my goals in life and where I saw myself, I can home tonight and it was so awkward between us. He thinks my goals are not conducive to his lifestyle and I think we are headed for divorce. I am heartbroken, but I am almost out of energy to to "change". He's not going to change, I am not suddenly going to want to go backpack the PCT after never camping in my life or go skiing black diamond runs for 8 hours when I can only get through 3-4 hours of green runs. He's never gong to care about listening to me talk about my interests., but I have always cared about his interests.

I am so lost. I have no friends and I am trying to wrap my head around where our relationship is going. I feel so alone in my own house. And I have to go to work tomorrow and everything feels wrong. I know I have my mom's support, but I just feel like I am dying inside. I feel like the world is falling apart and I an powerless to stop it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/LOLDICKS69 on 2023-09-25 04:12:11.

…and it turns out he despises me. Lol.

About a week ago we were out of town for a friend’s wedding. We got into town early for a mini vacay. After a day of drinking and having fun we headed back to the hotel where I went up to my room and he went to the hotel bar.

About 30 mins later he comes up to the room ranting about someone he got into an argument with at the bar. I change the subject to order food since we hadn’t eaten dinner and he became belligerent towards me. I decided I wasn’t going to entertain any of it and turned off the light to go to sleep.

Instead of going to sleep like I’d hoped, he kept on going. And it started to get hurtful. l told him that if he was going to continue being hurtful, he would have to leave. Before he left, he said “Well it’s a good thing you know how to tie a noose (referring to a suicide attempt I’d made) because you suck.”

Since then he’s tried to attribute his demeanor that night to the hard time he’s doing through. Which to be fair, he has gone through a lot recently - lost his mom and grandma this past year. But man, I’ve never had someone say something like that to me and I’m not sure I can look past it. I think I saw a glimpse of his inner self and it turns out his inner self just hates me.

Ok. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far. Just wanted to vent. I’m still figuring out what I want to do long-term. I’m financially stable and have the means to escape if necessary.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/MothmanAndCatboy on 2023-09-25 03:38:53.

I’ve just had my first taste of what my partner’s family dynamic is like, and it is so much worse than I was prepared for. After witnessing my partner with her family for an extended period of time I’m having doubts about what my future with her is going to look like. I don’t want to live my life with her if she’s going to keep her abusive toxic family in her life, because I don’t want to deal with them in mine. It sounds selfish, so I don’t want to break up over this, but I can’t marry her if it means having to be around them.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Queasy_Swimmer on 2023-09-25 03:17:12.

TW: discussion of sexual coercion, possible abuse

A lifelong female friend of mine has been married for several years and the details she's shared continue to concern me. This guy is insanely jealous, constantly accusing her of cheating, whether she takes too long on an errand or gets a UTI. She makes more money than him but he makes all the financial decisions. The major area of concern is sex though. Over the years she has confided in me that he has put bruises on her during sex, expects anal sex, which my friend has never been into, and recently badgered her to let him take pics of her engaging in sex acts with her. His sex drive is super high-he and expects it sometimes twice daily. Any refusal or explanation from her about menopausal effects on her sexual desire causes him to pout and guilt her. My friend is a wonderful, intelligent, caring woman who has unfortunately settled for way less than she deserves. She complains about him but then ends up making excuses and assuring me he says he'll be better. Obviously I know I have no control over her life and can only be a good friend. I have expressed that this is sexual coercion and possible abuse. Honestly, hearing about it makes me feel triggered to some of my own past experiences. How can I be here for my friend but still continue to express that this is not okay? Is it appropriate/selfish at some point to tell her that I can't continue to be on the emotional roller coaster ride of her telling me this stuff and then making excuses and minimizing his behavior afterwards? I appreciate anyone's perspective.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/missfeline99 on 2023-09-25 02:17:28.

Something I've always noticed is that, as a general rule, women are open to watching/reading things centered around men, while men have zero interest in watching/reading things centered around women and might even seem offended at the suggestion. Not only that, but most coming of age stories also focus on males, at least the popular ones, and plenty of women love this content - Stand By Me, The Sandlot, American Graffiti. The "main" female coming of age story, Now and Then, never came even close in popularity.

I've never seen women as opposed to checking something out based on gender norms alone. Sure, The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones had a primarily male fanbase, but that alone didn't drive women away. From what I've noticed, men usually won't read a book focused on female characters - but no woman is passing a book by because it has a male main character.

Have y'all also noticed this? What do you think is the cause?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/neanzof on 2023-09-25 02:14:31.

I’m beyond crushed. We’ve only been dating for 6 months, but we’ve been friends for 4 years and I’ve always had a crush on him, so I was very emotionally attached to him and this revelation was so, so heartbreaking.

I never thought he was like that. I realise now I probably had an idealised version of him in my mind, but I can’t think of any red flags that I missed.

He never initiated conversations about politics, but he always seemed to agree whenever I said something feminist/pro LGBTQ+ etc. I had no idea he was pretending.

He never said anything sexist or problematic in front of me. He wasn’t a vocal feminist, but I’ve always thought he had feminist opinions, more than most men I’ve ever known.

Long story short, I found out he’s been a fan of Andrew Tate for a while now, and apparently when I’m not around, he shares conservative sexist and homophobic views that I would never guess he had (I learned this from a male cousin that sometimes hangs out with him).

Of course, I broke up with him. But I’m still so sad, confused and angry. I feel like all these years have been a lie. It sucks when you find out someone isn’t who you thought he was. I don’t really need advice I guess, I just really wanted to share this with someone who might have experienced something similar and I didn’t know where else to post it.

Edit: thank you guys for all these lovely comments🥺

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/OwnEstablishment7973 on 2023-09-25 01:58:26.

For context, myself (23F) and my fiancé (29M) have lived in a new city for about 8 months. We were warned that the city is sort of “rough” so we took extra precautions in finding a nice and safe apartment complex. So far, everything here was nice and quiet, besides the occasional bickering and loud cars.

Yesterday while taking a nap, my fiancé noticed that someone was walking around outside in the hallway jiggling other peoples door knobs, mumbling to himself, and seemingly calling out for someone. Eventually the man tried to open our door as well, before going back inside to the apartment next door to us.

We’ve rarely seen who are neighbors are despite one encounter a few weeks ago where they were going out as we were coming home, and we just nodded and said hello. They all seemed nice.

Flash forward to today, 9 AM, jiggling on door starts. My fiancé wakes me up in a panic and we both stare in horror as the doorknob twists back and forth. He decides to look out through the peephole, and sees the same man from yesterday. The strange man goes back into his apartment afterwards.

This happened about two more times today. So my issue is, what the heck do we do? My fiancé is hesitant to call the police since the police here suck and he doesn’t want to piss off our neighbors since we plan to live here a while. After the 4th time he attempted to open the door, I told my fiancé if it happens again I’ll be calling the peace officer that lives in our neighborhood.

I’m okay for now, just shaken up and wish I was able to do more without making a big scene.

EDIT: would like to add I have informed the apartment management and hopefully I’ll receive a response tomorrow morning.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/L8rG9r on 2023-09-25 01:24:06.

Now, I havent used apps much, and not in a while, but is it delusional of me to think that men in their thirties who have good jobs and otherwise seem like quality people would be a bit more forthright in the process of dating? These are men who have long format conversations about interesting things, claim to want a long term partner, and follow up in conversation, but when it comes to meeting for the first time, they'll propose a specific date and then follow it up with no planning or a very general "down to meet" message. Are you guys experiencing this?

Date #1: We discuss classical music for many messages back and forth for a few days,Him: "I'd like to take you to see this concert violinist or an opera this Saturday."

Great so we have plans.

Day of "Which one did you decide? What time were you thinking"

No reply for hours. "Hmmm, I'm up for anything."

Date #2: "Would you want to get some dinner at X location X day at around X time?"

Me: Yes, lets do that

Me day of: "Still on for tonight?"

Him: "Sure I want to see you. Up for anything"

It's as though they want to be thought of as a man who asked a woman out, took the lead, and want the respect associated with that, but don't actually follow with action. Its as though they think it will trick women into thinking they have put in a kind of effort they didn't or are a kind of person they aren't.

Are you guys experiencing this?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/cherrymerrywriter on 2023-09-25 00:27:27.

For years, I always enjoyed how moderate makeup made my face look more alive (I wear foundation, blush, mascara, and sometimes peachy/terracotta liquid lipstick). I knew that it made me more attractive to men, and I knew that it increased the chances of me being sexualized. But, most of the time, I either didn't care or liked it. After going through some things, I became more sensitive to being sexualized.

First, I stopped wearing dresses/skirts shorter than my knees. Now, this year, nearly every time I make eye contact with a man, I become hyperaware of the makeup on my face, and of the fact that by wearing it, I'm supporting the increased chance that I'll be sexualized.

It feels like this: if I know a certain outcome will occur with an action, and I take that action, I become partially responsible for the outcome. The truth is: I don't want men to sexualize me. But it's also true that people treat you better when you're 'pretty.' But when I don't wear makeup, it's like I lose value. People aren't mean to me, but they're not as nice either.

I honestly don't know what to do. Is there an in-between? I've tried only wearing foundation and blush, but even that made me feel cheap.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Madame_President_ on 2023-09-24 23:49:24.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ResearchBean on 2023-09-24 23:03:04.

Someone at work recently told me privately and said that I am meek and yo work on that. I was really caught off guard by mess and honestly don't know what to do with that kind of feedback.

Obviously it sucked to hear but that's not how I want to come across. I'm a petite woman in her 30s in a male dominated corporate environment. I have a high pitch voice. I don't feel like I'm overly nice or anything, just a "normal" professional and nice.

Has anyone been told they're meek or something before? What does one do to not come across as meek anymore??