this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
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I got $100 and a video from a bunch of dead-eyed execs I've never seen before in my entire life thanking me for all the hard work that I do. I'd almost have rather just gotten nothing at all.
I got nothing, can I have your $100?
Maybe you two can split it 50/50? Or give me a cut, and split it 33/33/33?
I'll split it 50/50/50 with you guys that way we all get a little more
No he doesn't want it, so you me and the other guy can split. $30 is $30 bucks as far as I care, turn it into a bag of weed.
You can send me the $100 and the video if it's that big of a deal
the video is so funny to me. showing a canned response to an employee they've never met has me in hysterics
It was so eerily dystopian. Telling me how much they appreciate me and how valued I am as an employee, as their eyes trail from side to side while they read the prompter.
suits buy into the corpo crap so hard
it's just amazing that they can convince themselves into thinking that a video like that would make your day
My direct manager gives out lottery scratch-off tickets at the winter holiday party. Last year I won $5.
What? That's not how a lottery ticket machine works. Part of the front has to be scratched off to determine if it is a winner, even with the machine. I know, because I remember having to scratch this part off myself for customers redeeming tickets back when I sold them. (The part the machine needed was along the edge, and many didn't scratch there.) (This is specific to Tennessee, but I doubt any state used a system where you can tell if it's a winner without anything being scratched.)
Was this a decade or two ago? There was a mathematician that figured out how to separate winners and losers without scratching them off back in 2003. But I suspect tickets have gotten more sophisticated since then.
Anyways, I trust my manager isn't doing anything sketchy. She's generally awesome.