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I mean, if you want all those features, your best bet is a budget Android smartphone, then just physically sever the wireless antennas. If you're in the US, get one of those "locked" phones, they'll be cheaper and you won't be needing to make calls anyways (don't get the verizon ones, they require activation). A Moto G Play is like less than $50 (USD).
Just sever the antennas and transfer the VLC.apk from a computer, and you have a nice MP3 player.