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What is the etiquette for skipping after-work events? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I work remote, but occasionally have to travel to New York City for in-office events. During these events I sit in a conference room with the rest of my team all day. We usually have a team dinner planned during the week or something.

Tuesday I got into New York and later that night we went out to dinner. This ended up going until 10:30pm, which is pretty late for me (I usually am in bed by 10). It was also announced that day that we would go bowling today (Wednesday). After a day of sitting in a conference room for 8 straight hours, I really didn't feel like going out with my coworkers or drinking beer til 10 or 11 at night. I told my coworkers I was going to skip it because I wanted to go to the gym and I made something up about having to file my taxes by tonight, but I think they generally understood that I just didn't want to go.

I also was never explicitly invited; we were just told "we are going bowling on Wednesday", so I think there was the expectation that I go, but I strongly feel that nobody should be obligated to go to an after-work event (especially since I already went to one).

How would you handle the situation? How do you get out of these kinds of events?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

2 night outs in a week is too much IMO

It's not a regular thing, OP works remote and sees his team like a few times a year, or less.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes that’s exactly my setup at work. I’m part of a global team so it’s only once or twice a year were enough people travel to one office location that it becomes an “event” of visitors in the office for a week.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Honestly, given it's only once or twice a year, I'd say you should just regard the entire trip as part of the job and socialise as expected. It's hard to say more without knowing the details of your job env and career goals, but they're obviously expecting it and it might affect your standing within your team.