this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
588 points (98.7% liked)

Not The Onion

13710 readers
1659 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 93 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What a weird conflict. I don't know who I want to win. Is it possible for them both to lose somehow? Like some kind of -1 sum game?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Send tate to florida. Then get out a saw, and cut Florida away and into the Ocean. Then use ropes to connect Hawaii and Alaska to the mainland.

Now you can claim that only connected states can be states. Also, international no fly, no sail zone 300 miles around florida at any time. No one leaves.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago

Bugs had the right idea in 1949.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The only way in or out is via gay party boat ferry.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

With rescued immigrants onboard

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just wait 20 years. It’ll be underwater.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Great news for the folks inland...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Careful with that saw. There are allies there still.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As long as the electoral college exists, it really doesn’t matter, sadly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Fair enough. We should make it matter.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Too late. Dictatorships don't do reforms.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

What if we ask even more nicely this time?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's Hillsborough County not Tampa the city, that goes Republican. We are pretty progressive inside the city but the sprawling county has enough people to drown us out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Sorry for the misunderstanding. I'm not calling out people based on their county. I just pulled an electoral map because it's a quick way to point out that Florida is potentially a purple state. It's got a lot of people supporting civil rights and other progressive goals. I don't want to see it sawed off and abandoned to its gerrymandered leadership. That's what I was trying to communicate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Alaska is already connected to the mainland?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

But they are the same piece of land...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's the T Rex option. Like when your two least favorite teams are playing and you want them both to lose. T Rex takes them all out.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

I'm not saying I'm against it, but how do we get a live T. Rex and put it in a position to solve this problem for us?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

live T. Rex

T. Rex has not played live since Marc Bolan died tragically in 1977.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

You scientists always arguing woulds and never the shoulds. 😑

[–] [email protected] 4 points 22 hours ago

They're discussing the "how" tho