this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
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New to the community, but lurking for ever and stuck inside my egg for the past decade. I finally hit the wall where I was either going to come out or break down. So far, I'm super lucky to have a fantastic and understanding spouse who has my back, but that's literally the extent of my support network. I've always been pretty shy and impersonal, so I have a very tiny friend group. That said, I'm over 40 and can't wait to transition any longer. I just can't seem to find any physicians in my area that I don't think will either deny me care or treat me like I'm a liar. I'm fine with going straight to an endochrinoligist and signing an informed consent, but I really think I should see a therapist or counselor about some things I've been struggling with. I'm just having a difficult time of knowing who I can and can't trust, and I don't really have anyone around to ask. The only out transfem I know is a professional acquaintance and I'm way too scared to out myself to her yet. I've gone through most of the publicly available lists and tools for finding practitioners but they either don't take my insurance or don't cover my area. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? I want to get started so badly because I feel like I already missed out on so much of life as my true self, but the roadblock now seems to be that I can't even trust my family physician to know who I really am.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Your decisions are your own, obviously. I don't know where you live, but in many places, DIY might be your better option for hormones. Given the state of things where I am (U.S.), I honestly regret going 'legit' and changing my documents sometimes. For a few hundred dollars, you can acquire everything you need for a lifetime supply of estrogen. This means never having to rely on a doctor or other gatekeeper to allow you to be who you know you are or giving you so little of the hormones you need that you are living in a perpetual state of perimenopause. It does seem scary, but the truth is everyone has unregulated amounts of hormones in their body. Happy to chat more about DIY or trans stuff via DM if you like.

To directly answer your question, if the standard answers like Folkx or Galileo don't work for you, you may want to visit some local queer spaces and ask around. Folks who are already navigating this stuff will know what's around and who's trustworthy already.

Also, congratulations!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm in NJ, but not the progressive part of it. I guess Philly would be my closest friendly place to find anyone, and I definitely hear you about the "going official" issues in the US right now. It's one of the reasons I'm so frightened of telling the wrong people.

I don't know if I like the idea of DIY. I believe that it works, but I also know that I'm clumsy and forgetful enough to do something wrong. I also really need to talk to a therapist because I will definitely want my letters for surgery someday.

Folkx or Galileo

This is the first I've seen of either of these, so thank you! I'll have a look!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

If you want recommendations in Philly, DM me, I have lots! And some people I know are in New Jersey, too!

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