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Being forced to die for a country I didn't choose to be born in isn't right and should never be the norm.
While I agree to some extent, I think it is not that simple. By being born as citizen of a country, you automatically gain lots of benefits like protection from violence or healthcare, but also get responsibilities, like following the law. In extreme cases, your country could depend on its citizens protecting it. You could argue that you didnt sign up for either of those, but thats just how humanity evolved and if we abolish these "contracts", thats anarchy.
In this case, if all citizens were given the choice not to fight for Ukraine, it could very well be that it would be under Russian control by now, costing millions of people their home. Not saying that is definitely the case though, I dont know enough about the details.
I understand and even agree with some parts of your point here, but:
Yeah, being a US citizen gets you neither of those things in reality unless you're rich & powerful. I guarantee the people they'd be kidnapping here in the US & sending to war aren't the rich kids.
Yes capitalism changes the rules. Still, being a US citizen has lots of benefits, laws are favorable for most people. Even with all the police brutality and school shootings going on, not having any regulation would probably be much worse (take a look at countries with even higher corruption rates)