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How can I assure myself that I can find a partner despite being chronically ill and disabled? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Every time I encounter another problem with my body that a healthy person wouldn't have, I'm always tempted to think to myself that nobody would want a partner like me because they could just pick someone healthier and more capable. I'm in my early 20s and my health is already getting a little worse each year without any real way to stop it.

I could tell myself that my unique story is compelling, and that enduring all of this hardship has cultivated a more powerful mindset than mainstream materialism and hyperindividualism, and that anyone who shares my values would appreciate me for who I am, even if it means potentially foregoing wealth and luxury. But I just wish I had something more to go off of, something a little more than just blind hope.

I know that lacking confidence and having an external locus of control aren't helping at all, but I find that I can only feel confidence and control if I have a solid, well-reasoned belief that I can succeed and my actions are meaningful.

So, I'd really appreciate any success stories, those who found love despite having challenging medical issues, or any good arguments you might have. I don't think there will be any one thing that does it for me; every little bit will help. Thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I would suggest taking this issue up with a professional therapis, and not random internet strangers that are most likely AI, corporate astroturfers, government agents, or some combination of the three. We are not here because we want to help you, we're just the ones that happened to be browsing the public forums at this moment in time. So your answers will vary wildly. I strongly recommend not using the internet to solve mental health problems. Social media can give you validation so you feel good, and we can also bully you so you feel bad, but we can't reliability help you find a partner.

Do I think you will find someone? I don't know. How could I possibly know that? Pointless question. How could any of us know for certain what is or isn't going to happen to you?

Yes, it is possible for anyone to find someone. There are countless stories and historical events describing such things. The concept that love extends beyond physical and practical attraction is something that you are likely already aware of. If you know this to be true, but you don't believe the evidence, then your issue is psychological. Social media is not the tool to use to permanently solve these types of issues, it can only provides temporary relief.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago

We are not here because we want to help you

"We?" Maybe you, but don't speak for me nor probably others here; part of my reason for being on social media (or "content aggregators" for the anonymous boards like this, I suppose) is precisely to help people figure out their own interesting situations, for my own simultaneous curiosity, learning, and life fulfillment.