this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2025
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When you're Nonbinary every bathroom feels like this, not because you don't know which is which but because you don't know which choice is more wrong or will get you in more trouble.
Out of curiosity, what do you usually choose? I would imagine men tend to be less likely to care, but also maybe more dangerous if they do happen to care.
I usually go in the women's room because people clock me more feminine than masc. Men's room is very risky because they might not care but they might also be violent. If the bathroom is busy I pee sitting down so no one sees my feet facing the wrong way, I don't really like it and it feels awkward to do which is why I pee standing up when it's not busy or no one else is in there. I have been caught a few times and the women gave me shit for it, though it was always yelling, chastising, or slurs, they never got violent with me. Most violent one got was grabbing my ear and escorting me out of the bathroom. I don't know if I could trust the men to do the same. I heard a story of a trans woman who was physically and sexually assaulted and murdered in a men's room. That story is very much burned into my mind.
I usually try to avoid public bathrooms in general but lately that's been harder.
I usually end up holding it in so the one at my house ;(
(If it's bad I go to the bathroom which matches my agab though but it's not been necessary often)
I'd go w/ the female bathroom, because I think men are more likely to get pointlessly violent about stuff like this.
Men don't give a shit about who is in their bathroom, in my experience. Women, on the other hand, often stopped and harassed me when I was presenting female but cut my hair short (AFAB).
I've been harassed, yelled at, and insulted by women in the women's room, but at least they never physically assaulted me. I don't know if I could count on the men in the men's room not to do the same and I'd rather not take the chance. I remember a story about a trans woman who was killed in the men's room and it still gives me chills thinking about it.
Huh, that's surprising. People can absolutely be cruel.
That's what I usually do. Some people get mad or annoyed with me but I imagine it could be physically dangerous to go into the men's room.
I think I'd disagree there, unless youra woman walking in half undressed i doubt you'd get more than a questioning glance if that, on top of the fact that it seems like a much lower bar to pass as male.
Honestly, short of the Karen type who is looking around for things to get pissed about you probably won't hear much of a fuss in the restrooms themselves on either side, really seems like the butt hurt people are men worried about who's going into the women's room, or women worried about the potential rather than anything that's actually happening in the moment.
Not how it works at all.
Hey pal, FYI not all NonBinary experiences are the same. I commented sharing my experience. If your experience is different, you could've just said that instead of being rude or trying to say I'm wrong for feeling the way I do.