this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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There's no such thing as "lazy". It's always, always, always a word used to make someone feel guilty for hitting a personal limit or threshold.
Even if you want to work on those thresholds and improve them, you can achieve that without framing yourself as fundamentally selfish and uncaring.
I think "selfish" is a better word for it in all instances, because some people are just selfish. Like, if you can't be bothered to return your shopping cart or pick up your dog's shit, then that's selfish. It's not anywhere near the same category as being too burnt out to do the dishes after a double shift, or wanting to sleep in on a day off.
Calling all of it "lazy" creates some imaginary obligation to the universe that simply does not exist. You don't owe the universe clean dishes or your time in the morning. If you have roommates and you left dishes in the sink, you are being selfish. If your kids have an early baseball game, and you are too hungover to show up, then you're being selfish. You are always obliged to return your cart and pick up after your dog.
If you didn't notice that you have only one waste bag, and your dog had a need in more than one place, and you'll be late for something, and in addition to that generally have a bad sense of time and place (ASD definitely, BAD or ADHD probably), then it's not.
Imagine that sometimes people wake up this tired. Someone left an electric light on outside and you can't force yourself to cover the window - bad sleep. Forgot to drink some water before falling asleep - bad sleep. Ate something salty in addition to that - horrible sleep.
Suppose so.
Hangover is a bad feeling.
Not returning a cart should be punished with crucifixion though.
You're approaching this from a point where it's already too late.
If you're not capable of taking proper care of your pet, don't get a pet in the first place. Picking up the shit your dog left in a public place is part of owning a dog.
If your kid has a baseball game the next day, don't go drinking today. That's the selfish part. Although I would argue if you do get drunk, you kind of just have to deal with it and go to your kids game regardless.
So you never ever think you took 3 waste bags when you took 1? Nothing ever falls out of your pocket? Forgetting something is "not being capable of taking proper care"?
Or maybe you are simply not capable of reading before answering. That's typical for people without ASD.
I don't drink.
Lazy exists. I am a fully capable person, but some times I just don't want to get up off the couch and wash the dishes, or finish painting the wall trim. Its not that I am sad, tired or depressed, it's just I'd rather be doing something else or nothing else.
That's not laziness, that's looking after yourself and your own needs, and prioritising that over non urgent chores.
At some point, the balance changes, and you do the stuff.
And if the balance doesn't change, and you always put it off, even when you shouldn't be, there's something going on behind it.
What going on is I don't feel like doing it LOL.
I worked with a former autoworker, his job was inspecting roof seal adhesive and hitting the button for next car. He said he sat in a chair and read a book and would push the button with his foot. I asked how he could see roof glue, he said "I could not see it, I just pushed the button" . Too me that is the essence of a lazy person. It was not related to physical or mental overload, he was a sports guy etc. He just didn't want to inconvienece himself with getting out of the chair or interrupt his book reading.
That's not mental overload, it's the opposite. It's a job without mental stimulation, boring, repetitive and requires very little cognitive processing. And people doing jobs like that seek stimulation to escape perpetual boredom.
Give that guy a job that didn't bore him to tears, and the picture would have been very different.
As I said, it's always about hitting a threshold, and boredom is a threshold. And if an employer cares about quality, rather than the appearance of quality, they'd have designed that job differently.
We worked in a high paced Engineering office together, after the auto job, he would put his feet up and pile boxes near his desk to avoid working and read a book. There was more than enough stimulation available, he would just rather do what he wanted than work. Not everthing is the employers' doing, some people just make poor choices, even given opportunity.
I think there is such a thing as lazy, but it's when you push your responsibilities off onto another person solely because you can get away with it. The ex who leaves the dishes dirty and tells you, "I don't know, they just come better when you wash them", for instance.
thank you for this.
One of the best replies I've seen on social media! Allow me to be a zoomer and say, absolute W!
The difference between lazy and burnout lies in how much you trust the person not working.
Genuinely well said.