this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
531 points (97.2% liked)
People Twitter
6823 readers
2157 users here now
People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.
RULES:
- Mark NSFW content.
- No doxxing people.
- Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
- No bullying or international politcs
- Be excellent to each other.
- Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
This comment is not meant to come off as judgemental, so I hope it doesn't. I know that many other relationships function differently, but I cannot comprehend long term partners that do not want to combine everything. My partner is my partner, full stop, in all ways. There is no "splitting" because the money she earns and the money I earn is just our money. We budget together, we discuss purchases together, we shop together.
My wife and I have been sharing finances and everything forever. But many people don't and it really feels like it's because they half know it's not going to work out. So they just don't bother committing.
Nahh, I’d just rather avoid the arguments over what she spends money on. I disagree with it, but we keep our finances separate so it’s her money to spend, not our money to discuss how it gets spent.
Just easier that way
If you two make enough that she can keep her own money and buy whatever she wants without affecting your finances, then arguing about what she spends money on when your finances aren't separate has nothing to do with money.
Same. We have our own accounts as well as shared accounts. We both put the same amount into our shared accounts but also maintain the rest separately. Best of both worlds. No reason to agree about non-shared expenses. I watched my parents argue over money too many times to want that in my life. We don't need to agree or share opinions on non-shared purchases.
Honestly, to me even watching people do that whole "we share everything, we have no secrets, we completely gave up our own personality" routine is incredibly creepy. I wouldn't want a partner who expects the relationship to replace literally everything in their life, that sounds exhausting. Not to mention that I am definitely not going to share everything someone else tells me in confidence with any partner, those are not my secrets to share.
Matter of taste. With my last husband, we just placed both our salaries into a shared account, took all the expenses out of it, then split the remainder 50/50. Each one could do whatever they wanted with their half, and we even had a flex account for house expenses that weren't covered in the original expenses calculation, and it worked great.
I mean, whatever works for you and for your relationship.
I'm sure some relationships are like you described, and that does seem asphyxiating, but there's a middle ground where one can trust a partner with shared finances knowing that they are responsible and that big ticket items are discussed and agreed between the two.
As for secrets, it depends. If it is something that relates directly to my partner and affects them, I will tell them always. Otherwise, no. There's no expectation from them that I'll share every last secret about everyone they know, or vice versa.
I swear there was one about couples doing this specifically
It depends on how you do your finances. For some couples, the one account method works for them. My preference is to have a joint account for joint expenses where we agree what we're going to put in it. Budget from there.
Independent accounts are for surprises or whatever we want to spend it on.