123
‘There were no warning signs’: what happens when your partner falls into the ‘manosphere’?
(www.theguardian.com)
this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
123 points (96.9% liked)
Men's Liberation
2104 readers
131 users here now
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Interesting comment. So, nobody of either gender likes you and nobody can tell you why they don't like you?
People like me, but romantic interest seems to be off the table. Im not attracted to guys, but from my talks with multiple therapists and my friends of either gender, no one of either gender seems to be able to actually identify the issue.
Dating in person hasnt worked out, i dont live anywhere where people gather. So I'm left with online dating which is also an abject failure. By all accounts im reasonably attractive, probably moreso than average. Which is why I can only assume the issue lies in my body language. I'm guessing I give off autisitic vibes.
I'm just an anecdote though, my point is that there are a lot of people like me. I'm not an incel or right winger or anything like that. I know what makes someone an asshole and I know what makes someones character top quality, and I generally seek to embody those traits. We aren't evil, or filled with hate or anything. Society just doesnt seem to want us.
Edit: i mean that in a romantic way, no one actively drives me away from being friends.
The problem is that you're trying to solve a puzzle that will reward you with a prize. Relationships don't work like that, people don't work like that. You just need to be yourself, autistic vibes and all, not be an asshole, and just live your live. There are people who are attracted to you specifically, you just didn't find them yet because you're to busy looking for a key to a puzzle of no pussy. Just... interact with people like they're people, find those who mutually like spending time with you, and that will eventually grow into something.
Thats an interesting part, the pussy is not the interest. It's other aspects that come with a relationship. Mostly having someone there who is there to pursue common interests with. Admittedly, a relationship is my only true goal however. I've never really felt a calling in this world nor a particular attatchment to it, presumably as a result of neurological issues or a difficult childhood.
I appreciate the advice however, it's largely applicable but it's also what I've been doing for a while after advice I recieved. It's actually really funny in a dramatic irony kind of way however, I DO attract people. They're just definitely not what I am looking for. Either they're exclusively wanting sex, or they are a woman well beyond my age(im not shaming, thats just not for me. They were past my mothers age), or they're a guy. Either way, thats still fairly rare.
Aren't we all. You kind of summarised the whole human existence.