(Omaha, Nebraska) As recriminations fly through the Pentagon and doubt is cast on the viability of the current Secretary of Defense, some China-watchers express concern to the safety of counties like Taiwan or The Philippines. But sources close to the Chinese military say that - while these regions still greatly interest China - some Chinese planners are setting their sights on more distant targets.
“Have you ever had corn, like really fresh corn, from the US Midwest?” Asked Hsui Ren, a Chinese military planner and apparent corn enthusiast. “It’s so fresh and sweet there, it’s like the butter is in every kernel.”
Hsui is one of many Chinese strategist who, given the rapid devolution of the US Government, feels that previous expectations may be too low given the political environment. “Sure, we still have long term plans to envelop many countries into our sphere of influence in the coming years. But we only have three and a half more years of trump. While that feels like a lifetime for Americans, that’s not a long time when potential US states might be on the table. We need to accept this opportunity and take as many states as possible.”
Other Chinese strategists are less optimistic. “Sure, I can see California accepting a trade alliance, and maybe Nevada and Colorado taking investment deals and being allowed to keep their weed… but Utah and Wyoming are just too red for us to consider. Sure, there is the idea of saying Biden didn’t want Wyoming to work with China, but that’s pretty far-fetched for most people to accept, even if trump would buy it.”
Not so, says Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in rural Wyoming. “If that communist Joe Biden says we shouldn’t work with China, well by god we should. I’d rather share everything with my neighbors than be a commie.”
Political scholars in the US say that they are drinking heavily, and shouldn’t be bothered during drinking hours. Said one, “I don’t the… I mean, really. Go the China. Trump. Really.” And these views are echoed by the president, who was quoted as saying, “I don’t the… I mean, really. The China. Really.”
Secretary Hegseth did not accidentally text a response to a journalist using signal by newstime.
No need to plan ..... give it a year and Nebraska will probably willingly want to join China