this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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Looks funny with a green hose and a yellow nozzle but a lot of bidet tools are just a spray nozzle on a (usually white-ish) hose. The nozzle is more of the kitchen sink variety but it's really not that different.
The real problem with this setup is the hose and nozzle are under the seat! No reason for that... Just keep it off to the side.
TL;DR: This setup will work fine. Maybe use a light touch on that handle though π
A lot of people in the west are accustomed to the kind you install under your toilet seat, but I was surprised to see the kitchen sink thing everywhere when I was in SE Asia.
I prefer the kitchen sink ones. I've never accidentally gotten all wet from one of those like I have with the fancy toilet seat ones.
I never understood how to use the nozzle bidets properly. What angle do you shoot from?
I have a handheld that I fill at the sink with warm or slightly cool water.
I've got female parts so I angle from the front between my legs, so that everything flows front to back and then down.
I change the angle and shift a bit to get the backend bits so it doesn't splatter the front bits.
The handheld bidet water stream is more like a water pick than a shower sprayer, so you can be pretty exact with this one.
Nobody shares their bidet secrets. It's so hard to research before buying one.
Anywho, I use my bidet in the shower.
Personally, I lean forward and to the left, so that my cheeks spread, and then I take the nozzle into my right hand and hold it as if I was scratching my ass.
Afterwards, I fold two sheets of toilet paper and dry myself off at the surface.
THESE ARE SECRETS BIDET USERS SHOULD NOT DISCLOSE
(although I think I do the same lean to the left mainly because the hose is connected to the right side)
If you have balls, doesnβt the water drip onto your balls? Or down the inside of your legs?
it's a bonus, if the balls got splashback on them or dipped into the water (happens to me quite often unfortunately) they can get a rinse.
I'd rather have slightly moist balls than a shitty ass tbh. And that's why you have an arsetowel, to dry yourself off. That or spending a lot on paper.
Yes, but it would be ass water dripping on your balls.
You can pull them up and forward. Safely out of the spray zone and free from drips
No it's not. It's the same water you get in the shower.
The angle is such that the balls are only tangentially related to the business and may get wet because you gave the nozzle a bit too strong a squeeze and there's generally spray everywhere anyway.
You have a nozzle with unlimited water coming out of it. Even if it was directly shitwater, it won't be after the first two seconds since the clean water has rinsed everything.
But basically your arsehole is at the furthest edge anyway so usually there's no need to towel or paperdry the balls or the taint at all, as the water comes in an angle that then doesn't end up touching the balls.
It doesn't, no. If you do it the way I described, you can't actually get the nozzle at an angle where you could target your balls or legs. It's not as low down as the beam from the built-in bidets.
On the first few attempts, you'll probably hit your cheeks more than you'd like, but that just rolls down the cheek until it hangs vertically and then it drops. I'm still seated when I do this, so my legs are more-or-less horizontal.
And well, with a tiny bit of practice, you hit the in-between every time, where the water is stopped pretty effectively and then it drops in the same place where you dropped the nuke.
I can understand the concern, as I had the same when I first tried it, but yeah, after the first few days of learning, I never splooshed the floor or my legs or my balls. I think, I splooshed my cheeks maybe once or twice when I was really sleepy, but that's about it.