21F.. been fucking depressed for so long I genuinely don’t know if I am or not anymore. I am so happy at times but then reality hits and I’m back to normal. I get attached to people I like too hard and then it makes it worse. I feel detached from everyone. I don’t rlly have anyone to talk to much because I also don’t like stressing people out or being a burden on anyone. Idk how to feel anymore. I do things like a mini getaway with my friends but as soon as it’s over and I’m back home I just get this loneliness feeling. I feel alone even in a room full of people. It sucks because people see me as this happy person who’s always laughing and giggling but deep down I’m lowkey fucking tired of this shit but I don’t wanna be that depressing person around people u know? My friends make me feel happy yes but when I talk about anything it doesn’t really change anything. I’m just tired if that makes sense? Like not wanting to be here but wanting to be here because I’m scared of not being here. Not in a suicidal way I guess but more so of a vanishing point. I do think about some deep stuff sometimes but I’d never do it. I’m too scared, I know life is great and there’s plenty I want to do in the future and explore the world but it’s so hard to stay motivated when I feel like this. I really like this guy but we like broke up but we’re still friends and I think that probably triggered everything to worsen because I’m so attached. I’m fine with being friends and all because I know my limits and my mindset is okay with it but the whole situation sucked and set me back like how I would feel in the past and I hate it.
this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2025
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I only have like one friend here and her parents r strict like she’s lucky to go out like for 2 nights which we just did and we just got back today so I wish. My parents also wouldn’t be the happiest with that but wouldn’t say no if I had everything planned and had people to go with. I’m Arab so my parents are a bit more like on the stricter side of who I go out with and stuff but not as hard
Oh bummer. You're also 21 so like fk what your parents think 🤔
I know. But u know what they say “my house, my rules” lol. It sucks. Being able to go wherever I want, see whoever, go whenever is so nice but I can’t do that sadly.