this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2025
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depression_now!

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how can I start feeling better for good? (lemm.ee)
submitted 14 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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21F.. been fucking depressed for so long I genuinely don’t know if I am or not anymore. I am so happy at times but then reality hits and I’m back to normal. I get attached to people I like too hard and then it makes it worse. I feel detached from everyone. I don’t rlly have anyone to talk to much because I also don’t like stressing people out or being a burden on anyone. Idk how to feel anymore. I do things like a mini getaway with my friends but as soon as it’s over and I’m back home I just get this loneliness feeling. I feel alone even in a room full of people. It sucks because people see me as this happy person who’s always laughing and giggling but deep down I’m lowkey fucking tired of this shit but I don’t wanna be that depressing person around people u know? My friends make me feel happy yes but when I talk about anything it doesn’t really change anything. I’m just tired if that makes sense? Like not wanting to be here but wanting to be here because I’m scared of not being here. Not in a suicidal way I guess but more so of a vanishing point. I do think about some deep stuff sometimes but I’d never do it. I’m too scared, I know life is great and there’s plenty I want to do in the future and explore the world but it’s so hard to stay motivated when I feel like this. I really like this guy but we like broke up but we’re still friends and I think that probably triggered everything to worsen because I’m so attached. I’m fine with being friends and all because I know my limits and my mindset is okay with it but the whole situation sucked and set me back like how I would feel in the past and I hate it.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

I like looking at the clouds and thinking as if they are my thoughts. The are constantly moving and changing... I can ruminated on them and repeat them or I can let them float away and disperse.

Ime it helps to not use social media...

Also reading keeps my mind distracted.... That is if I can overcome the add/depression long enough to get enthralled. Reading does something to distract my brain that listening to music or watching media can't.

Alcohol is very bad for depression.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I like the cloud idea. I do enjoy looking at the sky and scenery. Will probably be heading to a lake or beach alone tomorrow and I’ll bring a book along. Never was big into reading because I’m so picky with books but I’ll try again thank you for this. And thankfully I don’t drink, only socially and yet I still barely do socially so that’s good

[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago

I'm the same with books. I never know how to find one that I like.

You can watch the waves in the same way as the clouds... Constantly changing. Also listening to them... Each crash is the departing of an old thought.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Get together with your friends on a week long camping trip and take a bunch of Golden Teacher.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I only have like one friend here and her parents r strict like she’s lucky to go out like for 2 nights which we just did and we just got back today so I wish. My parents also wouldn’t be the happiest with that but wouldn’t say no if I had everything planned and had people to go with. I’m Arab so my parents are a bit more like on the stricter side of who I go out with and stuff but not as hard

[–] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Oh bummer. You're also 21 so like fk what your parents think 🤔

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

I know. But u know what they say “my house, my rules” lol. It sucks. Being able to go wherever I want, see whoever, go whenever is so nice but I can’t do that sadly.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

The deep exhaustion from being alive and trying to keep up on top of it is so real. At your age it was probably the worst for me too, especially during a time where so many relationships are so temporary. It’s hard.

It sounds like you need a break. Like just, a week to breathe, where you don’t have to worry and everything is stable. I have no idea how that can actually be done, but if you can manage even a day of that and get a taste you might have a sense if it’ll help you feel better.

Sounds like you might need a breather from the guy too - if he’s really your friend he’ll understand you taking space to heal before coming back. It’s scary but you can ask your friends to vent in small amounts, that way you have consent and you have confirmation that they love you and want to be there for you(!!). You can ask them to do the same too, if you don’t already. Sometimes being there for others (how you can) can help you feel grounded.

Sit outside for 20 minutes on a nice day, grab your favorite drink or snack, have a healthy-ish meal, and write in a journal or draw. Wash your face and put on clean clothes instead of stressing about a full shower. These are by no means cures, but they can be tiny reprieves from the tiredness.

Understand that happiness is an emotion, not a permanent condition. It will come and go. Take things day by day, and with each little step you will make more progress than you did before.

Know that you’re not alone and that loneliness you feel is normal (especially for your age, and especially with depression). We’ve been there, too. Taking the steps to reach out and ask is something to be proud of. You’re doing great 🩵 wishing you some relief in the meantime.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you for this. This is like how I feel everyday, like just getting up and going about my day is rewarding to me because I lack that motivation at times. It’s weird and funny because I have motivation to do certain things at times, I’m in nursing school and I love it and I’m on a break before we start again but I want to start again because now I just have nothing to do and I’m spiralling. I will be spending a lot of time alone the next 2 weeks though, I enjoy being alone but not always. I think my biggest struggle is the friends aspect, I have like one main friend but sometimes it doesn’t feel like she’s actually there you know? Sometimes it feels like a relationship just for fun and stuff but I know it’s not that. But I don’t feel like I can really talk to anyone about my problems without coming off as stress to them or a burden, and I don’t want to lose anyone because of this u know. And I don’t want to take a break from him because I love being around him, we game and talk and it’s nice. He’s a great guy. I know I will learn to slowly detach my emotions which is good as we broke up and stuff (it was only like 4.5 months) but I did get very attached and still am. He means a lot to me but I hurt him and I have to live with that. Shit happens I guess. I’m just tiredddd of trying to be something I’m not and act like everything’s okay. I will start journaling more, I did start in February, only wrote two pages and never touched it again. But I do remember it being nice .

[–] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago

I get that. Having too much time and no structure is awful. Sounds like you have something to look forward to, at least.

Enjoying alone time is nice when you choose it, I also get that. It’s also understandable to want to keep the connections you do have.

Hopefully you can find some structure again soon, and a chance to be your more authentic self, even if it’s here.

You are a worthwhile, valuable person and the world is a better place with you in it - including when you’re not feeling okay! The people who are worth your time will get that, even if you haven’t met all of them yet.

If it’s any consolation things generally tend to get better once you’re older and more established. 20s are often the hardest time in your life. You got this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 13 hours ago

If you'd like to vent to a stranger, my inbox is always open.