this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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They're right about the goose. Do not fuck with.
A goose is one of two things on this list that I have actually fought. I guess I won. It stopped attacking and retreated after I kicked it in the head. I should note that I was not the aggressor in this fight.
The other thing I fought was a large dog that was attacking a little neighbor kid. I was probably 13 years old. I managed to get it off the kid long enough for its owner to come get it. The kid and I both needed stiches. The asshole owner of the dog was a cop, so nothing happened to him or the dog. Too this day I regret not putting a bowl of anti-freeze in his backyard to get that dog.
Yeah thatβs assumed tbh, it was a goose.
Peace was never an option.
I've always wanted to fight a goose how do they attack? Hit you with their feathers? They don't have teeth to puncture skin do they?
Their beaks are sharp enough to rip open a fish and they can fly so they're going for the face
Well I'm going for their face also!
I've seen one get pissed at a car honking at it to get out of the way (they're a protected species, Canadian Geese, specifically), and it actually ripped the license plate off his front bumper with its beak and like held it in its mouth threatening the guy to step out of his car and do something about it.
Was the wildest shit I've ever seen. Like something out of a Miami throw down, except it was a goose and a car.
This message makes me want to fight one even more. Someone should build a robot similar to how you can do fake bull riding.
They bite, they peck hard enough to break small bones, and they beat with their wings (stronger than you probably imagine)
They bite pretty hard, and they have excellent strength from their wings. They can batter you pretty good, but once you get ahold of the goose it's game over. You could just sit on it and crush it to death.
Thank you for the words of inspiration. I'm more confident now than before.