this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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“The building or someone is on fire”
When I was working in property management, certain people would frequently call me in the middle of the night for what they considered emergencies. They’d wake me up because a stove burner wouldn’t heat, or a lightbulb was out, or they just remembered that a door creaks. This shit got old real fast, so I began training the night callers that “emergency means Fire, Flood, or Death”.
One man was unfazed by my Fire, Flood, or Death mantra, so every time I saw his number ring in, I just shouted into the phone FIRE FLOOD OR DEATH? FIRE FLOOD OR DEATH?!
When my husband and I started dating he was a property manager of an apartment complex. Coincidentally they fired him within a month after I moved in since he was getting an apartment as part of his salary. As we were moving out of that shithole we still had people walking into our empty apartment after us both yelling at us that such and such needed to be fixed. Completely wild.