The Onion

6222 readers

17 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

480

Teacher Asks What First Graders Want To Be Once Child Labor Laws Repealed (theonion.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by ZeroCool to c/[email protected]

19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

just wait until it's "totally legal" for corporations to "adopt" orphans

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Dude don't give them ideas.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I'll believe a corporation is a person when Texas ~~kills one through lethal injection~~ lets one adopt a child.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They are people....

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The orphans?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Nah, not them...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Pretty sure this is what happened in Oliver Twist

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Adopt Orphans?

Your contract states that anything you create while employed at [COMPANY NAME] is the sole property of [COMPANY NAME], you're lucky you're allowed a generous 0.25% caretaker stipend for the child that's been a complete leech on resources for the last 9 months...