this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
357 points (90.7% liked)

Funny

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ok, I didn't get it when I thought they meant not making the deck angry, and I still don't get what I'm supposed to be seeing here.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

The footprints in the snow that show he was still pissing off the deck.

My only question is why does she care?

[–] [email protected] 76 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Maybe she doesn't want her deck to smell like piss

[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Or the plants to die. Large shrubs can be expensive to replace.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Ok, just piss in the corner then.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I finally stopped peeing off the porch when I killed 2 rose bushes. Now I walk 2 steps off the porch and kill the grass

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I know... it's pretty much written into marriage vows, "till death do us part or one of us stops pissing from the deck". She needs to fulfill her duties and start joining him at night on the deck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He is pissing off the deck. And no the ground won't start smelling like piss from that lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Depends where the last few drops go.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (3 children)

You'd have to have quite a lot of last few drops to smell up the place. Or some ridiculously potent piss.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Have you ever seen a public urinal?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

No of course not. Please elaborate. Do they get similar amounts of users or something else that's comparable?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm now more interested in how you've never seen a urinal.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Now I'm even more intrigued: a Finnish name, but deep south US vernacular.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I've seen Americans use that and I've since been eager to find the opportunity to use it myself

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They all have misses and drips all around them. It's such a simple skill that men can't master even when an entire industry was built to accommodate them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

But you are blasting piss off the porch, the direction is away from you. Almost all of the splatter is gonna end up on the lawn, where you're pissing anyway.

[–] Pyr_Pressure 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not if he does it every night. A few drops after a few weeks is a fair bit and wood soaks up liquid pretty good.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Wood for an outside deck isn't going to be soaking up much liquid, or the deck would turn to shit after a couple rainstorms. It's probably pressure treated

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I'm now imagining him getting bottles of concentrated piss and pouring it off the deck in the middle of the night to deter predators.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I imagine there's a racoon hiding underneath the boards, just lying there with its mouth open, waiting