this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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Programming

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Most of the entries were just funny, the last one is a nuke:

  1. I heard that the only real application for that technology was child pornography. How did you hear about it?
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

power tripping legislators when someone mentions encryption

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Gonna use this next time someone suggests using excel as a database

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Trying to build a team behind that technology would be a staffing nightmare.

An incredibly valid consideration that too often goes ignored.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Oh, this one stings. My company uses a proprietary platform for it's most critical records but we require a technical certification to even use its API. Pretty much an entire division said, "Fuck you! We're not tying up our people for 3 months to study and acquire a certification. We just won't use it!"

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I like your idea. Why don't you write up a white paper and we'll review it at the next staff meeting?

I think I might have said this verbatim before

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That one feels too cruel. If you said that to some junior dev they'd likely do it... and probably in their free time.

That said with fellow senior devs if someone suggests something completely off the wall I will occasionally respond with, essentially, prove it first.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"It's* better** to do things*** by this approach."

Always throw a spanner in there with:

*: [citation needed]
**: According to who exactly?
***: Please specify exact use cases

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

It's more Pythonic.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

With a senior engineer it's perfectly reasonable to just say "ok, implement it and let me know how it works."

Like the whole point is that they should be relatively independent and capable of taking ideas from paper to product.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

I was told to write my idea into an article to share internally with engineers. Then someone internally reached out to post it on our company tech blog. Then it got published on the tech blog. So I guess that's something?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

As a started reading I thought "Hmm, some of these remind me of [coworker x]". As I continued I realized all of these remind me of [coworker x].

I might have to turn some of these into bingo cards.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

I've got one to add that should be used more often than it is.

Wouldn't that require running the service as an admin?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“I’m afraid that isn’t according to best practices”

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

We’ll never get it certified if we do it that way.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Didn't read all, however, thanks for sharing. Made me laugh and I certainly needed a good laugh today

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

If we go with that idea, we're going to have Don Marti camped out in the front lobby with 300 angry software jihad supporters.

do it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago