No Stupid Questions

You're a good candidate for taoist philosophy. While I'm not sure what having absolutely no long term goals really feels like, I've had them my whole life, I can tell you that people have their own paths, and its in this diversity of paths that one of our strengths as a species lies. This is why authoritarians suck on the modern battlefield--too much conformity, leaves them inflexible. We allow diversity of thought and encourage initiative and independent action, in our militaries.

I don't think you should look to other people's accomplishments if accomplishing those things was never your goal in the first place, though. Was your goal, perhaps, learning? If so, those folks usually wind up with an eventual responsibility of handing their knowledge down to future generations, once it is accumulated sufficiently. I don't see how that contribution is worth any less than a start-up though.

I get that all the time.

Graduated with a History degree ten years ago, spent 18 months afterwards unemployed because my degree closed many more doors than it opened, spent another 3 years working in dead-end customer service roles then worked my way up into a finance career. Last week I got my 'big break' where I managed to avoid redundancy and secure a financial reporting role that's relevant to my ACCA studies. This is one of those rare times where the stars aligned.

My love life (or lack thereof) is my biggest grievance with life. People my age are married/cohabiting and have children of their own, meanwhile I am turning 32 in the next two months and still haven't even lost my virginity because from my experience, women have often been very frigid and judgmental.

Its time for me to read desiderata again.

Comparison is the thief of joy

1. don't compare your life to other peoples. Everyone has their own path to follow. Some people are simply more motivated than others, and that's okay. As soon as I accepted I wasn't a money hungry ladder climber and just wanted peaceful stress free life carved on my own terms my goals were much more clear.

2. figure out what you really want. A person is like a ship at sea, it must have a destination, something to work towards, otherwise it floats adrift aimlessly. Picture what you want in your mind and want it so bad that you have to have it. If you don't know what it is, think harder and dream in your minds eye until a picture arises.

Jealousy is a huge motivator. Having to do something for a purpose is even better. What do you want to do? Because the endeavors you mentioned don't happen overnight. When your sitting at your desk solving some problem that you didn't even anticipate and you're not even doing that thing you set out to do, it's hard to stay motivated. So, what is it about those endeavors that you mentioned piques your interest?

100% of my life was wasted.

Between mental health, medical issues, abusive family, abusive girlfriends, etc.

My entire life is a festering black void of nothing.

To answer the topic question, no I don’t, and its not a good thing. I’ve pushed it too hard for too many years and now my mind and body are suffering from that toll. And it wasn’t worth it.

My advice is take up a few hobbies, and enjoy life. Don’t bother chasing others or “Keeping up with the Jones.” Enjoy existing, because it is short.

I feel I should be more adventurous. Every weekend comes by and I find myself just being a homebody, pretty much since COVID.

I think the trick is to find a hobby and / or get out be adventurous more often.

Having good friends is helpful, but those are so hard to come by later on in life.

For me? That seems low to be honest.

“Comparison is the theft of joy.”

Just focus on being a better version of yourself than the day before, small gains lead to major momentum over time. Don’t be too hard on yourself, just keep moving in a positive direction consistently. Little bits add up quite a lot with time.

i am going to tell you some universal truths.

1. first truth: you will not fully understand these truths. though i list them here clearly, you will still learn them the hard way.

2. do not compare yourself to others. regardless of how you measure their success, you will find only a brief moment of satisfaction upon outdoing them, followed swiftly by regret, insecurity, and, not long after that, emotional crisis.

3. financial and professional success are antithetical to happiness and fulfillment at least as often as they aren't.

4. you can only ever know yourself. everyone's life is a series of choices. only you can know what choices are the right ones for you. you cannot know anyone else's choices. you cannot know if anyone else is making the right or wrong choices. you cannot know what motivates others. your dataset for anyone else is so incomplete as to prevent the drawing of any good conclusions. no good reason to compare yourself to anyone. but when you do, there's no good reason to feel bad about it, or good about it, and certainly no good reason to feel bad instead of good.

5. what follows is a cliche, but it is not a cliche: your life begins now, and now, and now. you can only do something now. not back then and not in a bit. now. really understand this. if you're not happy now, it's because you keep doing things that make you unhappy. now, if you're not happy now, it's because you're still not doing anything to make yourself happy. what are you doing to make yourself unhappy?

6. you're making yourself unhappy. it's not them making you unhappy. they might be doing things you're not happy with, but you're the one doing unhappiness. now, if you want to bank all your happiness and fulfillment on outdoing these people, that's fine, but it's going to be awhile. years, decades, you're entire life, perhaps. but, don't forget number 2: happiness can't be found on this route. i wonder what it would look like, what choices you'd have to make, to be happy, and much sooner?

let me know how it goes. also, apologies for the length. it's all stream of consciousness and i'm to lazy to edit.

homework: read The Tao of Pooh

❤️

I have thought that way before.

But nowadays I have a different perspective. I've got everything I need to be happy, and that's enough for me.

You're not going to be obsessing over all your career achievements on your deathbed, you're just going to wish you had spent more time with loved ones.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

If the world was a better place for having had you in it, even by so much as a single smile, then your life is not wasted.

If not, there's still time to do something about that.